COACHING | Toxic Relationship

Have you been or are you in a toxic relationship?

  • You are/were involved in an empathic-narcissistic dynamic or another toxic relationship?
  • Time and again you have attempted clarification, but your needs/concerns are/were not understood?
  • Because of repeated mindgames, projections, manipulations, relationship breakdowns, devaluations and invalidations you have reached the limit of bearability?
  • You don´t understand the world, the narcissistic person, your partner nor yourself anymore?
  • It seems like you can´t find an exit from a toxic relationship with someone who can’t/couldn’t respect you the way you deserve?
  • You want to understand this toxic cycle, break through, just escape the repeating suffering and ffeling like victim, stop this indescribable pain?

Toxic Relationship | Characteristics

Narcissistic people often appear outwardly self-centered, reckless and cold. In relationships, partners have to deal with lack of understanding, empathy and devaluation. However, also in other toxic relationships manipulative energiescan appear. As it happens in Gaslighting or ghosting.

The narcissistic person always focuses and acts out of his subjective reality. He does not seem to succeed in taking on perspectives and empathy. In a relationship with a narcissistic person, confusion , anger, sadness, fear, and lack of clarification are common. The defense mechanisms of people with narcissistic conditioning run on autopilot. Getting through them or gain understanding does not seem possible.

Whether in partnerships or the family – relationship partners of narcissistic people in this destructive dynamicoften lack healthy boundaries. Without understanding what is actually happening, they suffer to the point of exhaustion, and frequently lose sight of themselves. Self-worth and self-love hardly seem to exist anymore.
Experiences in toxic relationships often feel like a dead end.

But there is another way. There´s a path of valuable growth impulsesthat emerge from such dynamics. Many of them you can find for free in my blog section:

Toxic Relationship | Opportunities to evolve

By own experience I can tell how bad things can get in and after such a relationship. Being in such a constellation three times, I am still dealing with this issue in my family of origin.
Such a relationship constellation can also knock those people off their feet, who have been firmly grounded before. My coaching offer for Toxic Relationship is designed to regain stability and learn from the experiences.
Each coaching is based on personal experience and a deep understanding of the subject. You won’t hear any derogatory or incomprehensible remarks from me – I know how it is.

These toxic forms of relationships often lead to an immense personal crisis.
The growth triggers such a crisis can enable, can be understood, retrieved and used for one’s own personal development. Because – such a crisis enhances the signals of our own soul. They´re getting louder and more clear. We can choose to listen. That’s exactly what I did and keep on doing until today. That´s what I want to invite you for: To listen to what your innermost being wants to tell you. If you decide to walk with me, we will enter the mirror process.

Toxic Relationship | Listening

The coaching is directed towards that: Learning to listen. Not you listening to me, but you listening to yourself. To focus your attention on all upcoming messages – those, that serve the evolvement of your personality and soul. Every toxicrelationship has its roots inside ourselves. There is an unhealthy, unwholesome relationship inside oneself. While Working through your inner universe we try to find and see, if inner toxic elements are present. Such as unresolved feelings of shame, guilt or fear, misprogrammings and many more. Inside radiates and manifests in the outside (hermetic laws).

Let’s listen inwardly. Let’s decouple that.

Toxic relationship | Exiting

Together we can find ways out of the empathic-narcissistic drama cycle.

Towards self-responsibility and -empowerment. I will provide extensive knowledge and we will work out strategies. With these tools you will be able to find your own way out of the toxic dynamic.
Prerequisite: A real yes to yourself and willingness to take responsibility . Below you will find a checklist to find out whether my coaching in the special case of a toxic relationship is suitable for you.

Which tools are used?

Toxic relationship | Kintsugi

A toxic relationship can push you to the brink of bearable. The emotional abysses swirl one around like in a washing machine. Clarity? No way! Apart from all the emotions and the perceived lack of support, one is shocked and shaken to the core. The world – and oneself – seems to be in shambles. Does that sound familiar?

I have been in three toxic relationships. Even my psychological education couldn´t save me from this. In the last few years I have learned a lot about this constellation, felt my way through it and have gone through the processes into my personal freedom and new, healthy relationships. So – seriously – I know how you feel.

As in the Japanese tradition of Kintsugi, the goal is to reassemble the fragments of one’s self. This is primarily a process of leveraging experience. Because they say something. The mirror process of the inner universe serves us on this path. I´m looking forward to accompany you in this process.

More about my own processes, my being & working you can learn here:

Inside and outside | Toxic relationship

A toxic relationship doesn’t just pop up in our lives. Even though many people claim this. This contradicts the law of attraction (see hermetic laws) and also leads to the assumption that this has nothing to do with us. Contrary to the recognized concept of collusion according to Jürg Williwhich I discuss in detail in my blog articles.

This attitude is harmful in many ways. It corresponds to a widespread, simplified externalization: A person is called to be the perpetrator, while it puts one in the position of a victim– convinced that “there´s nothing that can be done”. It´s thinking in black and white. The thing is – by that – oneself opens up a new drama triangle. Very few people seem to be aware of that. A Drama Triangle is always destructive and prevents reflection and transformation of one’s own parts:

In victim land the world turns into a gathering of fearsome enemies, who can be clearly sketched and identified with a wary eye. Tense and on permanent alert, the gaze rests on the outside – instead of turning inward. There, fear waits to be transformed into courage. As rage longs for transformation into clarity. Grief and pain want to be accepted, integrated so that moving on becomes possible. That a freer life becomes possible.  That´s when my coaching can kick in and unfold its processes.

Checklist | Toxic Relationship

Recently, the coaching and consulting field has been booming in the field of toxic relationships. There are certainly many people working with heart and soul who have a good intention. What I increasingly observe here makes me sad and thoughtful. I will offer Coachings in this area only selectively. My offer is limited to those people who feel comfortable within the framework set out here. Below you will find a checklist in the form of two boxes, that assist you in finding out whether Coaching with me in the field of toxic relationships is suitable or unsuitable for you. 


  1. Willingness to take responsibility for one’s own part in this relationship
  2. Recognition that narcissistic experience and behavior often arises as a result of developmental trauma
  3. Ability to distinguish narcissism from the concept of psychopathy. 
  4. Whilst being able to recognize and name narcissistic behavior as such
  5. Willingness to focus on oneself in the face of change
  6. Willingness to let go of a repetitive, destructive struggle of wanting to be right
  7. Willingness to step out of the role of a victim
  8. Recognition of one’s own suffering as an initiating wake-up call for change, introspection, transformation.


  1. Seeing responsibility for the events in the relationship exclusively in the other person
  2. Labeling a person as “the narcissist” or generalization and devaluation without perceiving nuances
  3. Undifferentiated subsumption of harmful behavior as “narcissism” – without recognition of other, possible concepts, explanations and inner motives
  4. Responding to the black and white of the relationship (good and evil) with echo narcissism (see point 1).
  5. Focus on an external evil world where other people are supposed to change
  6. Insisting in being right and proving something to the other person
  7. Identification with the role of a helpless victim
  8. Suppression, repression or failure in taking responsibility regarding own injuries (from this relationship)

If you are still not sure, the following video (german) might be helpful. I adress the current trend in the coaching field and the discuss the painful consequences and also take a clear position regarding that. 

What is the coaching based on?


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