{"id":12824,"date":"2018-06-20T16:14:20","date_gmt":"2018-06-20T14:14:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/causes-and-consequences-of-narcissism-the-narcissistic-wound-in-relationships\/"},"modified":"2024-10-31T20:10:34","modified_gmt":"2024-10-31T19:10:34","slug":"causes-consequence-narcissis-narcissistic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/causes-consequence-narcissis-narcissistic\/","title":{"rendered":"Causes &amp; consequences of narcissism: the narcissistic wound in relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"12824\" class=\"elementor elementor-12824 elementor-2825\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-8e55d7c elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"8e55d7c\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;,&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-751e0da\" data-id=\"751e0da\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-34a6687 elementor-toc--minimized-on-tablet elementor-widget elementor-widget-table-of-contents\" data-id=\"34a6687\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;headings_by_tags&quot;:[&quot;h3&quot;],&quot;exclude_headings_by_selector&quot;:[],&quot;marker_view&quot;:&quot;numbers&quot;,&quot;no_headings_message&quot;:&quot;No headings were found on this page.&quot;,&quot;minimize_box&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;minimized_on&quot;:&quot;tablet&quot;,&quot;hierarchical_view&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;min_height&quot;:{&quot;unit&quot;:&quot;px&quot;,&quot;size&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:[]},&quot;min_height_tablet&quot;:{&quot;unit&quot;:&quot;px&quot;,&quot;size&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:[]},&quot;min_height_mobile&quot;:{&quot;unit&quot;:&quot;px&quot;,&quot;size&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:[]}}\" data-widget_type=\"table-of-contents.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toc__header\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-toc__header-title\">\n\t\t\t\tOverview\t\t\t<\/h4>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toc__toggle-button elementor-toc__toggle-button--expand\" role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" aria-controls=\"elementor-toc__34a6687\" aria-expanded=\"true\" aria-label=\"Open table of contents\"><i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-chevron-down\"><\/i><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toc__toggle-button elementor-toc__toggle-button--collapse\" role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" aria-controls=\"elementor-toc__34a6687\" aria-expanded=\"true\" aria-label=\"Close table of contents\"><i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-chevron-up\"><\/i><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-toc__34a6687\" class=\"elementor-toc__body\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toc__spinner-container\">\n\t\t\t\t<i class=\"elementor-toc__spinner eicon-animation-spin eicon-loading\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/i>\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-bfccff4 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"bfccff4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Introduction<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8744981 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"8744981\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"western\">Narcissistic individuals often appear <u>outwardly self-centered, ruthless,<\/u> and <u>emotionally cold<\/u>. In relationships, their partners frequently struggle with a <b>lack of understanding, empathy<\/b>, and <b>devaluation<\/b>. For the narcissistic person, thoughts, emotions, and actions are primarily <b>self-focused<\/b>, with their <b>own needs, desires<\/b>, and a <b>constant craving for validation<\/b> taking center stage.\u00a0<\/p><p class=\"western\">But why is it like that?\u00a0<br \/><span style=\"font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\">What is the origin of this behavior?<\/span><\/p><p class=\"western\">In this article, we will explore these questions, offering insights for reflection and understanding. Please keep in mind, that <u>this article is not meant to insult, judge or condemn people<\/u>. Even if we have to <b>be aware of the presence of narcissism<\/b>, we should also acknowledge, that <b>narcissism resides in everyone of us<\/b> (more or less). Try to see, observe &amp; act clear, when you encounter people with such a behavior. <b>Develop consciousness<\/b> and stay <b>in tune with yourself<\/b>. Try not to judge, because ultimately <u>you\u00b4ll judge a part of yourself as well<\/u>!\u00a0<\/p><p class=\"western\">We\u2019ll begin by examining the <u><b>general development<\/b> during the early stages of life<\/u>, delving into the concept of the &#8220;narcissistic wound.&#8221; By exploring the <u>internal experiences<\/u> and r<u>elational dynamics of narcissistic individuals<\/u>, you\u2019ll gain a <b>deeper understanding<\/b> of the signs they exhibit in relationships.\u00a0<\/p><p class=\"western\">This reflection aims to foster <b>empathy, clarity<\/b>, and the <b>power to let go<\/b> for those who have been in relationships with narcissistic individuals, recognizing that some aspects of people cannot be changed by anyone but themselves. Simply put: <b><em>This is not your responsibility<\/em>.<\/b><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-590402c elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"590402c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Understanding <b>wounds <\/b>| the <b>early months of life<\/b><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-09ffbda elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"09ffbda\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"western\">Before diving into the <b>narcissistic wound<\/b> specifically, it\u2019s crucial to first understand the general development that applies to narcissistic tendencies but also the\u00a0<b><u>empathetic wound<\/u><\/b>.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a67715e elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"a67715e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">1. physical <b>symbiosis<\/b><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-884e7c4 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"884e7c4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"western\">During pregnancy, the fetus experiences <b>physical symbiosis<\/b> with the mother, sharing her <b>blood, nutrients,<\/b> and even <b>emotional states<\/b>. Studies show that stress during pregnancy, for example, can have <u>measurable effects<\/u> on the fetus. This is because when the mother secretes stress hormones, the fetus also receives them, giving the unborn child an early experience of external emotional stimuli. Thus, even before birth, the <u>child experiences sensations<\/u> <b>linked to the mother&#8217;s emotional state<\/b>.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-aca6570 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"aca6570\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">2. emotional-energetic<b> symbiosis<\/b><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-52369ce elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"52369ce\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"western\">After birth, this symbiosis continues<b> emotionally and energetically<\/b>. When the mother is anxious or upset, the baby often mirrors these emotions, crying or becoming agitated. The child\u2019s survival <b>depends<\/b> on this<b> emotional bond<\/b>.<br \/><span style=\"font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\">In states of &#8220;emergency&#8221;<\/span><span style=\"font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\"> the baby can draw attention: <\/span><i style=\"font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\">&#8220;Something is wrong! I am not well. Take care of me!&#8221;<\/i><span style=\"font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\"> or <\/span><i style=\"font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\">&#8220;I&#8217;m fine like this!<\/i><span style=\"font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\"> I am <\/span><i style=\"font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\">satisfied!&#8221;<br \/><\/i><span style=\"font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif;\"><span style=\"font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\">Also\u00a0the infant <\/span><u><span style=\"font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\">reflects back the <\/span><b>mother&#8217;s emotional state<\/b><\/u><span style=\"font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\">. For parents, this creates a challenging feedback loop: the infant not only experiences its own emotional needs but also reflects the parent\u2019s emotional state. A permanent mirror.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d063465 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"d063465\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">3. <b>spectrum<\/b> of experienced feelings |<b> BINARY<\/b><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-69fd0fd elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"69fd0fd\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"western\">In the earliest stages, a child primarily experiences <b>two emotional extremes<\/b>: <u>comfort<\/u> (pleasure) and <u>discomfort<\/u> (pain). These <b>binary<\/b> sensations are crucial for survival, as they drive the infant to cry out, if attention and care is needed. The experience of existential levels of fear and anxiety thus <u>helps the infant to survive<\/u>. This binary emotional spectrum shapes the child\u2019s emotional development.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5b5845c elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"5b5845c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">4. development | <b>ego-awareness, autonomy<\/b> &amp; <b>self-confidence<\/b><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-60224aa elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"60224aa\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"western\">By around 18 months, the child becomes <u>aware of being an <i>&#8220;<b>I<\/b>&#8220;<\/i><\/u>. It establishes\u00a0<b>object permanence<\/b>, understanding that people and objects <u>exist even when they\u2019re out of sight<\/u>. During this time, the child begins to <b>explore<\/b> the environment and develop <b>autonomy<\/b>. <b>Emotional regulation<\/b> also starts to emerge, as parents help their child understand, verbalize &amp; regulate their emotions. This is laying the groundwork for <b>self-confidence<\/b> and a sense of <b>self-efficacy<\/b>.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-304d14b elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"304d14b\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;,&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-331b3d9\" data-id=\"331b3d9\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ed0b07d elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"ed0b07d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><b>Emergence of<\/b> the <b>narcissistic<\/b> wound<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-beb2b2c elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"beb2b2c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"western\">During early development, children require <u>unconditional love,<\/u>\u00a0<u>care<\/u>\u00a0&amp; <u>guidance<\/u>\u00a0from their caregivers. When these emotional needs are either <b>overindulged<\/b> or <b>neglected<\/b>, narcissistic tendencies can take root. Adult narcissistic behavior often stems from one of two childhood experiences:<\/p><ol><li>overindulgence and excessive praise or<\/li><li>neglect, rejection or ignorance<\/li><\/ol>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ab8679f elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"ab8679f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">1. <b>overindulgence <\/b>and excessive <b>praise<\/b><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2e132c7 elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2e132c7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><b><u><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pnas.org\/doi\/10.1073\/pnas.1420870112\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Research from the University of Amsterdam<\/a><\/u><\/b> shows that narcissistic traits in children often develop when they are <u>overvalued<\/u> by their parents.\u00a0<\/p><p>When a child consistently receives <b>praise<\/b> and <b>validation<\/b> for their &#8220;unique qualities&#8221;, they begin to <b>internalize<\/b> the idea that their worth is tied to <b>constant external validation<\/b>. This creates a <b>dependency<\/b> on <b>immediate gratification<\/b> of their desires. If their needs are not met promptly, the child may react with <b>frustration, anger, or sadness<\/b>. <br \/>Parents of narcissistic children often share similar traits. They may see their child as a <u>reflection of their own specialness<\/u>, treating the child with <b>excessive pride<\/b>. However, there can be other reasons behind this behavior, such as <b>high parental expectations<\/b> or <b>unresolved psychological issues<\/b>.<\/p><p class=\"western\">Parents who <u>quickly soothe<\/u> their child\u2019s <u>unpleasant emotional states<\/u> may <b>struggle with managing their own emotions<\/b>. They find it uncomfortable to witness their child in distress, so they either <b>meet the child&#8217;s needs instantly<\/b> (<i>\u201c<b>Don\u2019t cry<\/b>, here\u2019s the candy bar\u201d<\/i>) or <b>dismiss these emotions<\/b> altogether (<i>\u201cIt\u2019s not that bad, look at this instead\u201d<\/i>). <br \/>In both scenarios, the child&#8217;s feelings are <b>invalidated<\/b>. The child learns that <b>difficult emotions<\/b> like anger, fear, or sadness must either be <b>suppressed<\/b> or immediately <b>resolved<\/b>. This teaches them to <b>avoid<\/b> rather than <u>process these emotions<\/u>. This doesn\u00b4t allow them to access or understand the <u>deeper meaning behind their feelings<\/u>.<\/p><p class=\"western\">Constant gratification fosters a <b>sense of entitlement<\/b>, where the child starts to <b>expect special treatment<\/b> as their baseline reality. When their needs aren&#8217;t met, they feel <b>threatened<\/b>. <b>Empathy<\/b> and <b>perspective-taking<\/b> don\u2019t develop because they remain at the center of their <b>own perceived world<\/b>. This turns into a<b> blueprint for relationships<\/b>, leading them to <u>expect<\/u> that <u>any deviation from their desires in the future is a lack of unconditional love<\/u>.<\/p><p class=\"western\">At first glance, it might seem that showering a child with attention and indulgence is positive. However, this approach prevents the child from being loved <u>in their entirety<\/u>. The parents don&#8217;t address the child&#8217;s <b>deeper emotional needs<\/b>, <b>fears, or desire<\/b> for <b>autonomy<\/b>. Instead, they respond only to <u>surface-level desires<\/u>, ignoring the underlying emotions. By immediately <u>erasing fear, frustration, or sadness<\/u>, they <b>deny<\/b> and <b>reject<\/b> those parts of the child. Something the child introjects and carries on.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p><p class=\"western\">This dynamic sets the stage for <b>early emotional splitting<\/b>. The child becomes <b>dependent<\/b> on <b>external sources for emotional regulation<\/b>, unable to manage their<b> inner life <\/b>on their own. The affection they receive is superficial, a substitute for genuine love. This leaves the narcissistic child <b>unsatisfied<\/b>, with a lingering need for true, unconditional love. Deep inside, the child feels <b>abandoned<\/b>, and although this wound becomes almost\u00a0<u>inaccessible to the narcissistic adult<\/u>, it remains a source of constant, underlying <b>panic<\/b> and <b>grief &#8211;\u00a0<\/b>the <b><u>deep, unresolved hurt of an abandoned child<\/u><\/b>.<\/p><p>When children are consistently told or shown that they are <u>more intelligent<\/u> or <u>special<\/u> than others, they internalize these evaluations. Over time, these children come to <b>expect constant praise<\/b> and <b>immediate gratification<\/b>, resulting in <b>frustration, anger, or sadness<\/b> when their needs are unmet. In addition to basic <b>reinforcement<\/b> effects, the child also experience <u><b><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Social_cognitive_theory\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">social learning (Bandura)<\/a><\/b><\/u> &#8211; the behavioral patterns of parents turn into a <b>blueprint for social interactions<\/b>. Simplified: <i>&#8220;That\u00b4s how it should be!&#8221;<\/i>\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-720a6be elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"720a6be\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><b>2. neglect, rejection<\/b> or <b>ignorance<\/b>. <\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a15c17f elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"a15c17f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"western\">When parents <u>lack sensitivity<\/u>, grapple with <u>psychological issues<\/u>, or exhibit <u>pronounced self-centeredness<\/u>, they often<b> misinterpret<\/b> their child&#8217;s signals. This inability to connect leaves the child feeling <b>isolated<\/b> and <b>vulnerable<\/b>. For instance, allowing a child to cry for extended periods can lead to <b>profound feelings of fear<\/b> and <b>panic<\/b>, creating a sense of <b>existential threat<\/b>. Additionally, <u>exposure to physical or emotional violence<\/u>, or even indifference, can leave <b>lasting scars<\/b>.<\/p><p class=\"western\">To a child, these parents may appear <b>unavailable<\/b> and <b>threatening<\/b>, especially if the child experiences <b>violence<\/b> in their environment. The parents do not respond with empathy; instead, they <b>exert control<\/b> and <b>judgment<\/b> based solely on <b>their perspectives<\/b>. As a result, the child feels <b>unseen<\/b> and <b>alone<\/b>. In their early months, when dependency is critical, children <b>will do anything<\/b> to earn their <b>parents&#8217; affection<\/b>\u2014seeking love and warmth to avoid potential threats and dangers.<\/p><p class=\"western\">When parents <u>trigger anxiety or dismiss<\/u> feelings of <b>sadness, fear, or anger<\/b>, they expose the child to <b>overwhelming panic<\/b>. While adults typically develop <b>coping strategies<\/b> for these emotions, children lack such tools. Consequently, the child remains <u>engulfed in a nameless, existential panic<\/u> until their<b> inner alarm system<\/b> eventually <b>shuts down<\/b> due to emotional overload. This protective mechanism <b>splits off feelings<\/b> of <b>helplessness, fear,<\/b> and <b>unmanageable grief<\/b> from their conscious experience.<\/p><p class=\"western\">In this process, the child effectively <u>blanks out parts of their being<\/u>, severing ties with aspects of their personality. This <b>disconnection<\/b> fosters a <u>damaging belief<\/u> that they are <b>worthless<\/b>, intricately linked to the <b>pain of rejection<\/b> and <b>existential threat<\/b>. The aspects of their personality tied to <b>low self-worth<\/b> remain <b>locked away<\/b> with those overwhelming feelings, creating a <b><u>box<\/u><\/b> that the child cannot access anymore.<\/p><p class=\"western\">As a result, the child <u>does not learn to navigate these emotions<\/u> effectively; they cannot engage with them. Their formative relationship experience becomes one of <b>worthlessness,<\/b> encapsulated in the belief that they cannot be their true selves. To escape feelings of panic and worthlessness, the child often <b>adopts roles<\/b> that please their parents, <b>conforming<\/b> to their <b>expectations<\/b> in hopes of gaining <b>validation<\/b>. This facade <u>temporarily<\/u> bolsters their <b>fragile self-worth<\/b> and conceals the emotions locked away in the <b><u>box<\/u><\/b>.<\/p><p class=\"western\">Love and attention from parents is <b>conditioned<\/b> &#8211; to the child&#8217;s ability to <u>meet certain standards<\/u> rather than acknowledging their <b>intrinsic worth as individuals<\/b>. Without a loving role model to guide them, the child&#8217;s own <b>feelings remain fragmented<\/b> and <b>unintegrated<\/b>. Over time, the internalized rules of their parents morph into <b>self-imposed guidelines<\/b> that govern their interactions with others. As these children transition into adulthood, they often <b>struggle with empathy<\/b> and remain <b>self-centered<\/b>.<\/p><p class=\"western\">Throughout their lives, they work tirelessly to <b>maintain the image<\/b> they have crafted, <b>fearing<\/b> exposure to their own feelings of <b>worthlessness<\/b>. Additionally, they <b>project<\/b> these rules onto their relationships, preserving the carefully constructed world of the narcissistic individual. This <b><u>protective system<\/u><\/b> must not falter; otherwise, they risk <b>confronting the split-off emotions<\/b> of panic, anger, and sadness that reside in the <b><u>locked box<\/u><\/b>\u00a0&#8211; where turmoil simmers just beneath the surface.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-f7e79b9 elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"f7e79b9\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;,&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-dd70afc\" data-id=\"dd70afc\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0522ee5 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"0522ee5\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><b>Effects of<\/b> the narcissistic wound | Imprints<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7ea9bb4 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"7ea9bb4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"western\">The narcissistic wound manifests in several ways, each affecting interpersonal relationships and emotional well-being:<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7c0e340 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"7c0e340\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><b>1. intolerance <\/b>of<b> <\/b><b>negative feelings<\/b><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9d87013 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"9d87013\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"western\">The child, and later the adult, often displays a <b>profound intolerance for negative feelings<\/b>. When faced with emotions such as grief, rejection (which strikes at their self-worth), fear, or frustration, the narcissistic individual typically reacts with <b>panic<\/b>, quickly followed by <b><u>anger<\/u><\/b>. This anger serves as a <b>defense mechanism<\/b> to protect their tightly closed <b><u>emotional box<\/u><\/b>. Unfortunately, the <u>primary emotions remain unacknowledged<\/u> and inadequately processed; they evoke<b> fear<\/b> rather than understanding in the narcissistic person.<\/p><p class=\"western\">Throughout their lives, these feelings have been <b>split off<\/b> and suppressed, leaving the individual unsure of how to confront or manage them. As a result, they live in a <b>state of constant fear<\/b>\u00a0&#8211; specifically, <u>fear of their own emotions<\/u>. Their central mission becomes the relentless pursuit of <b>proving their own worth and awesomeness<\/b>, a desperate attempt to drown out the nagging whispers from within the box:<i><b> &#8220;You are worthless,&#8221; &#8220;You are not important,&#8221; &#8220;You are not good enough,&#8221;<\/b><\/i> and <i><b>&#8220;You are wrong.&#8221;<\/b><\/i> <br \/>This internal (mostly unconscious) dialogue creates an ongoing, <b>tumultuous war within themselves<\/b>.<\/p><p class=\"western\">The narcissistic person grapples with their own significance, constantly battling against the <u>echoes of their past<\/u> and the <u>internalized, split-off beliefs<\/u> that continue to haunt them. This struggle not only distorts their emotional landscape but also prevents them from forming genuine connections with others, as they remain <b>trapped in their own cycle of fear and self-defense<\/b>.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b1c0c2a elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"b1c0c2a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><b>2. manipulation <\/b>&amp;<b> instrumentalization<\/b><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c6c661d elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"c6c661d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>The child, and later the adult, learns to <b>manipulate<\/b> others in order to <b>maintain their sense of self-worth<\/b> and <b>avoid confronting feelings of fear, sadness, and worthlessness<\/b>. This manipulation, whether conscious or unconscious, becomes a <b>key strategy<\/b> in preserving their internal framework &#8211; a system they have known and relied on since their earliest relationship experiences. Within this system, they do <b>not experience remorse<\/b>, as they have no understanding of it. To them, this is simply how the world operates.<\/p><p>Their first experiences with relationships ingrained this belief, making it a core part of their <b>perceived reality<\/b>. In their view, the world functions according to their <u>self-centered perspective<\/u>. Any deviation from this belief threatens their sense of control, triggering <b>panic<\/b>, which is quickly followed by <b>anger<\/b>. To restore <b>balance<\/b>, they must <b>reshape reality<\/b>\u00a0(= <b><u><i>Gaslighting<\/i><\/u><\/b>) to fit their <b>subjective viewpoint<\/b>.<\/p><p>The narcissistic person employs various <b>defense mechanisms<\/b> to achieve this, often <u>distorting the truth<\/u> or manipulating others (as explored in detail in <b><u>Empath &amp; Narcissist: 11 Key Insights into Dynamics and Your Path to Healing<\/u><\/b>). <br \/>Despite sometimes using <b>lies<\/b>, they do not typically come across as dishonest. This is because <u>they genuinely believe in the universality of their reality<\/u>. This unwavering conviction becomes evident in their interactions with others, as they <b>manipulate<\/b> situations to <u>align with their deeply held, distorted view of the world<\/u>.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7f7bd61 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"7f7bd61\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">3. <b>inability<\/b> to <b>empathize<\/b><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-89652a6 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"89652a6\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"western\">Narcissistic individuals have a <u>limited capacity for <b>empathy<\/b><\/u>. While they may understand that others are experiencing emotions like sadness or disappointment, they <u>struggle to connect emotionally<\/u>. Their self-referential worldview makes it <u>difficult to engage in genuine emotional exchanges<\/u>, and <b>any criticism<\/b> or <b>perceived attack<\/b> on their self-image is met with <b>defensiveness<\/b> or <b>anger<\/b>.<\/p><p class=\"western\"><span style=\"color: var( --e-global-color-text ); font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif;\"><u><b>Example:<br \/><\/b><\/u><\/span><span style=\"color: var( --e-global-color-text ); font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\"><i>Viktor loves the Middle Ages and has been deeply immersed in visiting castles and palaces along the Rhine for the past three days with his girlfriend, Stefanie. While this is a passion that Viktor holds close to his heart, Stefanie does not share the same interest in medieval history. Nevertheless, she participates wholeheartedly, <u>enjoying the time they spend together<\/u> and the opportunity to explore new places. <u>On the fourth day<\/u>, they set out on a boat trip, an activity that <u>Stefanie<\/u> had been looking forward to and one that they had mutually agreed upon.<\/i><\/span><\/p><p class=\"western\"><i>However, as soon as the boat departs, <u>Viktor grows visibly bored<\/u>. He doesn\u2019t speak much, and when Stefanie tries to share her excitement, <u>he responds coldly and dismissively<\/u>. His face shows <u>irritation<\/u>, and he remains <u>distant<\/u>, robbing Stefanie of the joy she hoped to share. Sensing the <u>growing emotional distance<\/u> between them, Stefanie bravely asks Viktor what is wrong. Instead of reflecting on her question or their shared experience, Viktor <u>bluntly replies that he is bored<\/u>, shutting down any further emotional exchange.<\/i><\/p><p class=\"western\"><i>Stefanie feels <u>hurt<\/u>. She had <u>made an effort<\/u> to enjoy the castle tours with Viktor even though they weren\u2019t her preference, and now that it\u2019s her turn to enjoy something, <u>Viktor refuses to reciprocate<\/u>. When she <u>expresses her disappointment and sadness<\/u>, Viktor immediately <u>becomes defensive<\/u>. <b>\u201cWhy do you spoil your own mood?\u201d<\/b> he snaps. <b>\u201cJust enjoy it! It was your wish! We\u2019re here, aren\u2019t we?\u201d<\/b> With this statement, Viktor <b><u>shifts the responsibility<\/u><\/b> for Stefanie\u2019s emotions entirely onto her, <b>rejecting any accountability<\/b> for his <b>cold behavior<\/b>.<\/i><\/p><p class=\"western\"><i>Stefanie, trying to save the day and mend the growing rift, attempts once more: <b>\u201cCan\u2019t you just be a little happy with me? After all, I was also happy about the time with you during the castle tours, even if it\u2019s not my thing.\u201d<\/b> Instead of seeing this as a fair compromise, Viktor\u2019s ego becomes <u>even more threatened<\/u>. He <b>lashes out<\/b>, <b>interpreting<\/b> Stefanie\u2019s words as a <b>hidden attack<\/b>. <b><u>\u201cOh, so that means you didn\u2019t want to visit the castles at all? Were you just pretending? Don\u2019t ever do that again!\u201d<\/u><\/b> <br \/>With this <b>accusation<\/b>, Viktor entirely <b>reframes<\/b> the situation. Instead of acknowledging her needs, <b>he projects his feelings of insecurity onto Stefanie<\/b>, <b>accusing her<\/b> of being <b>dishonest<\/b> and <b>manipulating<\/b> him during the previous days, when, in fact, she was making a genuine effort to connect with him.<\/i><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ad683ab elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"ad683ab\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">4. <b>Control<\/b> and <b>Self-Reference<\/b><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3fa37c6 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"3fa37c6\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"western\">Viktor\u2019s reaction illustrates a common narcissistic dynamic: <b>control<\/b> through <b>emotional withdrawal<\/b> and <b>manipulation<\/b>. By acting bored and indifferent during Stefanie\u2019s chosen activity, he <b>asserts his dominance<\/b> in the relationship. <b>His<\/b> emotions and <b>preferences<\/b> take precedence, while Stefanie\u2019s are <u>sidelined<\/u>. When Stefanie tries to engage him, he places the <u><b>blame<\/b> for his mood<\/u> squarely on <b>her desires<\/b>. After all, from Viktor\u2019s perspective, <u>she made him participate in something he didn\u2019t want to do<\/u>. This dynamic of <b>self-reference<\/b> &#8211; the idea that everything revolves around his own experience &#8211; isolates him from Stefanie\u2019s emotions.<\/p><p class=\"western\">When Stefanie confronts him with her sadness, Viktor <u><b>detaches<\/b> himself emotionally<\/u>. For him, Stefanie\u2019s feelings are <u>her own responsibility<\/u>, and he sees <u>no connection between his behavior and her distress<\/u>. Thus erasing the <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Reciprocity_(social_psychology)\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b><u>rule of reciprocity<\/u><\/b><\/a>. <br \/>Viktor\u2019s lack of emotional empathy &#8211; his inability to step into Stefanie\u2019s emotional world &#8211; fuels this disconnect. While <u>he can recognize<\/u> that Stefanie is <b>upset<\/b> (cognitive empathy), he <u>lacks the ability to <b>emotionally resonate<\/b> with her pain<\/u> (emotional empathy). In Viktor\u2019s worldview, Stefanie\u2019s sadness is <b>not<\/b> his problem, and any attempt on her part to express her <b>need for connection<\/b> is viewed as an <b>attack<\/b> on his sense of self.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8067055 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"8067055\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">5. <b>Projecting<\/b> own <b>feelings<\/b><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6363a80 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"6363a80\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>When Stefanie tries to <u>explain her feelings<\/u>, Viktor quickly <b>escalates the situation<\/b>. Rather than addressing her concern about their shared experience, Viktor <b>deflects<\/b> by <b>projecting<\/b> his own emotions onto her. He <b>accuses<\/b> Stefanie of not enjoying the previous days, <b>twisting the narrative<\/b> to make her the <u>&#8220;deceiver.&#8221;<\/u> This is a classic example of <strong>projection <\/strong>&#8211;<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>a defense mechanism where Viktor transfers his <b>own dissatisfaction<\/b> onto Stefanie. In reality, Viktor is the one who is bored and disengaged, but by <u>accusing Stefanie of <b>dishonesty<\/b><\/u>, he can avoid confronting his own feelings.<\/p><p>Viktor\u2019s projection serves multiple purposes: it <b>shifts blame<\/b> away from himself, <b>reassures him<\/b> of his importance (since his behavior has an emotional impact on Stefanie), and sabotages Stefanie\u2019s enjoyment of the boat trip. Through this manipulation, Viktor ensures that he <b>regains control<\/b> of the situation. Now, Stefanie is not only upset about Viktor\u2019s behavior, but also left <u>questioning her own actions<\/u>. The boat trip, which was supposed to be her moment of joy, becomes an <u>emotionally charged experience<\/u> filled with tension and doubt &#8211; effectively ruined for both of them.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d3a9455 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"d3a9455\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">6. <b>resistance<\/b> to <b>reflection<\/b> and <b>responsibility<\/b><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e53e878 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"e53e878\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"western\">When asked to <b>reflect<\/b> on their behavior, narcissistic individuals often <u>perceive this as a direct <b>attack<\/b><\/u>. Their defense mechanisms, built for self-protection, trigger immediate resistance. Viktor\u2019s reaction exemplifies this: as soon as Stefanie asks him to consider her perspective, he retreats behind a wall of defensiveness, unwilling or unable to engage in introspection. This reaction stems from a deep-seated fear of vulnerability and the threat of confronting their own inadequacies.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3b3238e elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"3b3238e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">5. <b>Emotional reasoning<\/b>, <b>splitting<\/b>, &amp; the EMOTIONAL <b>blindness<\/b><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-bb6b68c elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"bb6b68c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>The narcissistic individual lives in a world of <b>extreme polarization<\/b>, perceiving everything in terms of <b>good<\/b> and <b>evil\u00a0<\/b>&#8211; a worldview shaped by <b>psychological splitting<\/b>. Their reactions are <u>not<\/u> based on <u>objective reality<\/u>, but on their <u>own subjective emotional experiences<\/u>. <br \/>In psychology, this is known as <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/intl\/blog\/evolution-of-the-self\/201706\/whats-emotional-reasoning-and-why-is-it-such-a-problem\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><em><b>emotional reasoning<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/a>. If the narcissistic person <b>feels<\/b> attacked, they interpret that as proof that an <u>actual attack<\/u> has occurred, regardless of the <u>objective facts<\/u> or any <u>rational explanation<\/u> to the contrary. <br \/>They will <b>insist<\/b> that <u>their <b>perception<\/b> is the <b>truth<\/b><\/u> and assign <b>blame to the other person<\/b>, believing that their <u>personal reality<\/u> is the <u>universal reality<\/u>. For them, any differing perspective is simply wrong.<\/p><p>This inability to recognize or validate other viewpoints stems from a <u>lack of empathy<\/u>. To see the world from someone else\u2019s perspective would require stepping outside their own fortress of self-perception &#8211; something they are unable or unwilling to do, as it feels too <b>threatening<\/b>. The narcissistic person struggles with what professionals call <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Mentalization\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em><b><u>mentalization<\/u><\/b><\/em><\/a>, the capacity <u>to understand the thoughts, feelings, and intentions of others<\/u>. This is also linked to a condition known as <em><b><u><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Alexithymia\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">alexithymia<\/a><\/u><\/b><\/em>, which refers to the <u>inability to identify and describe one\u2019s own emotions<\/u> and the <u>emotions of others<\/u>.<\/p><p>The phenomenon of <em>gaslighting<\/em>, often seen in toxic relationships, is explored extensively <a href=\"https:\/\/www.exit-gaslighting.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b><u>in my (german) book<\/u><\/b><\/a>. It delves into the <u>psychological manipulation tactics<\/u> used by narcissistic individuals and outlines <u>clear strategies<\/u> for breaking free from these damaging dynamics.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7432e5c elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"7432e5c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">6. Continous<b> tension<\/b> | scanning for <b>threat<\/b>, the <b>enemy<\/b><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-842e782 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"842e782\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>The ongoing inner war in a world of good and evil takes a heavy toll. The narcissistic person must constantly <b>deflect, project, manipulate, control, bend reality<\/b> to suit himself, and <b>distract<\/b> with pleasurable experiences. This constant mental and emotional effort <b>drains<\/b> enormous energy. <br \/>There is no lasting peace within a narcissistic person; he remains under <b>permanent inner tension<\/b>, even if he outwardly seems calm, indifferent, or even cool. Internally, he is <b>working non-stop<\/b>, battling the voices from the <b><u>locked box<\/u><\/b> that tell him he is worthless, useless, a failure, incompetent, repulsive.<\/p><p>He is unconsciously <u>consumed with fighting these inner judgments<\/u>, making him <b>restless, irritable<\/b>, and often <b>bad-tempered<\/b>. His constant <b>fear<\/b> of <b>being judged<\/b>\u00a0(while judging all the time) has him perpetually <u>scanning his environment<\/u> for <b>threats<\/b>. Every word or gesture is scrutinized for <b>potential danger<\/b>. At the slightest hint of criticism or suspicion, he <b>strikes defensively<\/b>.<\/p><p><b><u>Another example:<\/u><\/b><\/p><p><em>Stefanie started smoking again, stressed by Viktor\u2019s growing tension. Viktor is deeply disturbed &#8211; not out of concern for Stefanie\u2019s health, but because he doesn\u2019t like the smell and sees her behavior as a weakness. During a stop, he asks her why she has started smoking again. Stefanie replies, <b>\u201cBecause I\u2019m so tense. I don\u2019t recognize you lately.\u201d<\/b> Without a word, <b>Viktor turns away<\/b>, walks back to the car, and <b>doesn\u2019t speak to Stefanie for the rest of the day<\/b>. Confused and growing angry, Stefanie confronts him that evening after hours of silence. Viktor replies, <b>\u201cYou\u2019re smoking to punish me for my behavior &#8211; how do you expect me to respond?\u201d<\/b><\/em><\/p><p>Viktor completely <u>misses Stefanie\u2019s perspective<\/u>. He <b>interprets<\/b> her actions as a personal <b>attack<\/b>, assuming that she is trying to reprimand him for behavior she dislikes (what he\u00b4s doing). In the narcissistic person&#8217;s world, <u>everything revolves around them<\/u>. They are solely preoccupied with <b>protecting their own significance<\/b> and <b>fending off perceived attacks<\/b>. This constant, energetically charged state of existence exhausts not only the narcissistic individual but also those around them.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-e3e15ad elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"e3e15ad\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;,&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-0622aad\" data-id=\"0622aad\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-28611b9 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"28611b9\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Conclusion |<b> <\/b>How <b>narcissism<\/b> works in <b>relationships <\/b><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8149175 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"8149175\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>The narcissistic person sees <b>love<\/b> through a lens shaped by his own <b>needs and desire for validation<\/b>. If he experienced overwhelming admiration as a child, this becomes his <b>blueprint<\/b> for future relationships. <br \/>On the other hand, if he felt devalued, he seeks the opposite: someone who <b>recognizes<\/b> and<b> reinforces the self-protective reality<\/b> he\u2019s built. <br \/>In relationships, he is drawn to someone <b>who helps him ward off his inner demons<\/b>, <b>merging with him<\/b> in a kind of <b>symbiosis <\/b><u>without coming too close<\/u> to his <b>deeply buried emotional pain<\/b>. Impossible as we see. <br \/>He seeks a partner who <b>doesn\u2019t challenge him<\/b>, who is endlessly <b>understanding, predictable<\/b>, and <b>willing to set aside their own needs<\/b> to maintain harmony.<\/p><p>Yet beneath all of this, the narcissist harbors a <b>deep, unfulfilled yearning for unconditional love<\/b>. This wound stems from never having been accepted or loved for who he <b><u>truly<\/u><\/b> is. The paradox is that while he <u>craves this love<\/u>, his <b>defensive system prevents it<\/b>. <br \/>His <b>fears, insecurities, and doubts<\/b> are locked away in a <b><u>that box<\/u><\/b>, hidden from both himself and others. He cannot face these feelings, and so he remains trapped in a <u>projection of his fears<\/u>.<\/p><p>At the heart of this <b><u>locked box<\/u><\/b> is the <b>child who was never loved<\/b>, the source of his panic and need for protection. While he<b> longs<\/b> for <b>unconditional love<\/b>, <b>he fears it most of all<\/b>. If someone approaches too closely and begins to understand him, he recoils, protecting himself from what he perceives as a<b> threat <\/b>to his carefully constructed reality. He cannot acknowledge the emotional wounds he carries, and this blocks true connection.<\/p><p>Because of this, the<b> wounded narcissist<\/b> can only engage in relationships from a place of <b>fragmentation<\/b> and division. True understanding or empathy is beyond reach for him, as he is <b>imprisoned<\/b> by his own fears. At the core of his being is a <b>hurt child<\/b>, crying out to be heard, yet <b>he denies it <\/b>for fear that everything he\u2019s built will collapse.<\/p><p>This article seeks to foster <b>understanding<\/b> and <b>compassion<\/b> for the <b>wound of a narcissistic person<\/b>, but also to remind readers that they cannot help and have to be careful with him. The only person who can change a narcissist <b>is himself<\/b>, and even then, it would require an acceptance of reality that he may not be willing or able to face. While nothing is truly impossible, the <b>depth<\/b> of these defense mechanisms makes meaningful change unlikely without his <b>own readiness to heal<\/b>.<\/p><p>Remember, too, that you can never fully understand someone else\u2019s story. Focus on <b>maintaining your own boundaries<\/b> and <b>respect the boundaries<\/b> of others. This is also a key aspect of my work in supporting others.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e0160e9 elementor-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-button\" data-id=\"e0160e9\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"button.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-button-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-button elementor-button-link elementor-size-sm\" href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/?page_id=12709\" target=\"_blank\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-content-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-text\">TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-583bf8b elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"583bf8b\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;,&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-2dddb35\" data-id=\"2dddb35\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7d6f081 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"7d6f081\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">What can <b>you<\/b> do? <b>Setting boundaries<\/b> and <b>letting go<\/b><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f0c2674 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"f0c2674\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>There is very little you can do <u>to change someone else\u2019s unhealthy patterns<\/u>. The one thing you can do, however, is <u>acknowledge that they live in a different reality<\/u> and <b>set clear boundaries<\/b> to distinct yours from theirs. <br>You can offer insight or extend invitations to reflect, but if there\u00b4s no understanding or willingness to see that relationships includes reality of&nbsp;<b><u>two<\/u> people<\/b>, you may need to detach. <br>A firm <b><u>&#8220;no&#8221;<\/u><\/b> to <u>harmful behavior<\/u> is crucial, not just for<b> your well-being<\/b> but also as an implicit &#8220;yes&#8221; to the person beyond their destructive patterns. Even though they might not recognize or accept it, <b>your &#8220;no&#8221;<\/b> is also a <b>rejection of their flight from themselves&nbsp;<\/b>and <b>the way they treat their inner wounds<\/b>.<\/p>\n<p>If this person eventually chooses the path of reflection and healing, <b>respect their journey<\/b> and decide for yourself to what degree you want to accompany them. But remember: <b>their issues are not yours<\/b>, and you should avoid becoming a therapist, nor prolonge any suffering. <br>You are responsible for your own well-being first. This means <b>recognizing your vulnerability, honoring it<\/b>, and taking <b>appropriate action<\/b> to <b>value yourself<\/b>. By saying &#8220;yes&#8221; to yourself, you show <u>care for your own inner child<\/u>, just as you acknowledge theirs &#8211; though <u>you cannot heal it for them<\/u>. Their healing starts with their decision.<\/p>\n<p><b>Let them be<\/b>, with <b>compassion<\/b> and <b>understanding<\/b>, but also with a <b>strong commitment to yourself<\/b>. <br>This is <b><u>your life<\/u><\/b> to live, <u>in alignment with your<b> self-love<\/b> and <b>truth<\/b><\/u>. <br><b>Clear boundaries<\/b> are essential, both internally and externally, for love to flourish.<\/p>\n<p>Try to see &amp;&nbsp;<u>accept things as they are<\/u>&nbsp;&#8211; right now &#8211; in yourself and in others. Only then can peace emerge. <br>There\u00b4s no sense in wasting your life imagining another person <u>to change in the way you would wish they would<\/u>.<br>See things as they are and focus on what you can direct and control.&nbsp;<br>There\u00b4s so much more to discover about that <b>beautiful &amp; loving person<\/b> that brushes your teeth &#8211; every single day!<\/p>\n<p>With love, Kristina<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-b9d0499 elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"b9d0499\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;,&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-dc7fcb8\" data-id=\"dc7fcb8\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-35e216a elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"35e216a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Invitation<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ad33848 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"ad33848\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re considering being accompanied through the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/mirror-process-inner-universe\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><strong>mirror process of inner work<\/strong><\/span><\/a>, you can book a <a href=\"https:\/\/psysoulogy.youcanbook.me\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b><u>free preliminary talk in my booking calendar<\/u><\/b><\/a> at the top right of this page or below this entry.\n\n<span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-weight);\">The <\/span><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: bolder;\">model assumptions<\/span><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-weight);\"> are based on years of professional<\/span> <span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: bolder;\">observation<\/span><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-weight);\">, personal<\/span> <span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: bolder;\">experience<\/span><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-weight);\">, and knowledge from<\/span> <span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: bolder;\">psychoanalysis, psychodynamics, and developmental psychology<\/span><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-weight);\">. For more information, please refer to the<\/span> <a style=\"text-decoration-line: underline;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/copyright\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: bolder;\">Copyright<\/span><\/a><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-weight);\"> notice. The articles, including assumptions and hypotheses, may be<\/span> <span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: bolder;\">shared freely<\/span><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-weight);\">, but please always provide<\/span> <span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: bolder;\">attribution\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-weight);\">(my name and the website).<\/span>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Overview Introduction Narcissistic individuals often appear outwardly self-centered, ruthless, and emotionally cold. In relationships, their partners frequently struggle with a lack of understanding, empathy, and devaluation. For the narcissistic person, thoughts, emotions, and actions are primarily self-focused, with their own needs, desires, and a constant craving for validation taking center stage.\u00a0 But why is it [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":12403,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_glsr_average":0,"_glsr_ranking":0,"_glsr_reviews":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[857],"tags":[898,944,1034,1031,978,247,931,940,1033,987,1021,904,995,981,1032,859,966],"class_list":["post-12824","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-toxic-relationships","tag-borderline-en","tag-boundaries","tag-causes-of-narcissism","tag-consequences-of-narcissism","tag-emotional-abuse","tag-externalisierung","tag-gaslighting-en","tag-ghosting-en","tag-healing-from-narcissism","tag-narcissism","tag-narcissistic-behavior","tag-overcoming-co-narcissism","tag-personal-development","tag-psychological-effects","tag-self-esteem-issues","tag-setting-boundaries","tag-toxic-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12824","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12824"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12824\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12403"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12824"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12824"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12824"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}