{"id":12787,"date":"2020-07-05T01:50:27","date_gmt":"2020-07-04T23:50:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/6-conflicts-of-empathic-narcissistic-magnetism-guilt\/"},"modified":"2024-10-31T19:20:46","modified_gmt":"2024-10-31T18:20:46","slug":"6-core-conflict-toxic-relationships-guilt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/6-core-conflict-toxic-relationships-guilt\/","title":{"rendered":"#6 Core conflicts of toxic relationships | guilt"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"12787\" class=\"elementor elementor-12787 elementor-3625\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-e5d5d6f elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"e5d5d6f\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;,&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-b739632\" data-id=\"b739632\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-285928e elementor-toc--minimized-on-tablet elementor-widget elementor-widget-table-of-contents\" data-id=\"285928e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;headings_by_tags&quot;:[&quot;h3&quot;],&quot;exclude_headings_by_selector&quot;:[],&quot;marker_view&quot;:&quot;numbers&quot;,&quot;no_headings_message&quot;:&quot;No headings were found on this page.&quot;,&quot;minimize_box&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;minimized_on&quot;:&quot;tablet&quot;,&quot;hierarchical_view&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;min_height&quot;:{&quot;unit&quot;:&quot;px&quot;,&quot;size&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:[]},&quot;min_height_tablet&quot;:{&quot;unit&quot;:&quot;px&quot;,&quot;size&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:[]},&quot;min_height_mobile&quot;:{&quot;unit&quot;:&quot;px&quot;,&quot;size&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:[]}}\" data-widget_type=\"table-of-contents.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toc__header\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-toc__header-title\">\n\t\t\t\tOverview\t\t\t<\/h4>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toc__toggle-button elementor-toc__toggle-button--expand\" role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" aria-controls=\"elementor-toc__285928e\" aria-expanded=\"true\" aria-label=\"Open table of contents\"><i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-chevron-down\"><\/i><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toc__toggle-button elementor-toc__toggle-button--collapse\" role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" aria-controls=\"elementor-toc__285928e\" aria-expanded=\"true\" aria-label=\"Close table of contents\"><i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-chevron-up\"><\/i><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-toc__285928e\" class=\"elementor-toc__body\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toc__spinner-container\">\n\t\t\t\t<i class=\"elementor-toc__spinner eicon-animation-spin eicon-loading\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/i>\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-23e6e9e elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"23e6e9e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Introduction<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-bde7fbc elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"bde7fbc\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>A prerequisite for understanding this conflict is the\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/empathisch-narzisstische-8-konflikte\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong><u>basic article of this article series<\/u><\/strong><\/a>.<br \/>The assumptions of this series are based on the\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Collusion_(psychology)\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong><u>model of collusion by Willi<\/u><\/strong><\/a>. They were adapted, interpreted and transferred by the author.\u00a0Therefore this article series is subject to\u00a0<strong><u><a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/urheberrecht\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">copyright<\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/urheberrecht\/\">.<\/a><\/u><\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4c32523 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"4c32523\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Conflict | <b>Guilt<\/b> &amp; it\u00b4s conceptualization<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1870cb8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"1870cb8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p style=\"color: black;\">Before we dive into this topic, I\u2019d like to clarify the <strong>concept of guilt<\/strong>. Guilt can be highly <strong>destructive<\/strong>, often impacting and hindering us throughout life. But how and why does it arise?<\/p><p style=\"color: black;\">In psychology, various theories explain the origins of guilt. Fundamentally, guilt tends to emerge when we violate a <strong>social norm, rule<\/strong>, or a deeply <strong>internalized value<\/strong>. In essence, a perceived &#8220;wrongdoing&#8221; occurs, which we recognize as such.<\/p><p style=\"color: black;\">Guilt is categorized as one of the <strong>self-reflective emotions<\/strong>, requiring <strong>self-awareness<\/strong> and value reflection. Unlike <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Paul_Ekman\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong><u>basic emotions<\/u><\/strong><\/a> (as identified by Paul Ekman), self-reflective emotions like guilt develop later. This maturation happens once a <strong>sense of norms and rules<\/strong> is formed. At this stage, we begin to assess our actions, feelings, and thoughts in relation to social norms, rules, and personal values.<\/p><p style=\"color: black;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Guilt_(emotion)\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong><u>Guilt<\/u><\/strong><\/a> is not something we are born with. Instead, it develops through <strong>self-reflection<\/strong> and <strong>evaluation processes<\/strong> (the subject of <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Attribution_theory\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong><u>attribution theories<\/u><\/strong><\/a>). We might feel guilty for actions deemed unacceptable or harmful based on social or personal standards. Sometimes, actual harm has occurred\u2014a person has been hurt, an accident caused. Or, we may knowingly engage in actions with regrettable outcomes.<\/p><p style=\"color: black;\">In itself, <strong>guilt<\/strong> can serve an important purpose. It helps us correct any <strong>harm<\/strong> we&#8217;ve caused and realign our behavior with our values. It encourages us to make amends, reconcile after conflicts, perhaps through expressions of remorse or by seeking forgiveness.<\/p><p style=\"color: black;\">In essence, feelings of guilt arise from <strong>evaluation processes<\/strong>. They are closely tied to our <strong>self-image<\/strong>, the way we wish to see ourselves (related to concepts like the <strong>ideal self<\/strong> or <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Id,_ego_and_super-ego\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong>superego<\/strong><\/a>), and the norms, rules, and values we uphold. Consequently, as with other internal conflicts, guilt reflects the individual <strong>self-image<\/strong> we\u2019ve built over time (<a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Constructivism_(philosophy_of_education)\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong><u>Constructivism<\/u><\/strong><\/a>). Any deviation from this self-image or worldview can feel uncomfortable and <strong>threatening<\/strong>, leading to what psychologists describe as an <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Incongruence\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong><u>experience of incongruence<\/u><\/strong><\/a>, challenging our <strong>self-concept<\/strong> and subjective reality.<\/p><p style=\"color: black;\">In this sense, guilt itself can trigger feelings of incongruence, as we may have done something perceived as &#8220;wrong.&#8221; When our behavior, thoughts, or emotions misalign with our ideal self, feelings of guilt arise. These feelings often stem from a sense of <strong>responsibility<\/strong> or <strong>accountability<\/strong>\u2014believing our actions were a contributing factor in a negative outcome. Later, we\u2019ll see why this perception of responsibility is critical.<\/p><p style=\"color: black;\">On a personal note, I question whether the <strong>concept of guilt<\/strong> is inherently useful. Across history, guilt has been exploited. For example, during the infamous <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Indulgence\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong><u>sale of indulgences<\/u><\/strong><\/a>, guilt was exploited to increase Church revenues, often paired with fear and terror. As a result, the term <strong>guilt<\/strong> has taken on meanings beyond its original sense.<\/p><p style=\"color: black;\">Still, I believe most of us carry some level of <strong>guilt<\/strong> deep down (more on this later).<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-712ecd37 elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"712ecd37\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-30e2c2de\" data-id=\"30e2c2de\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2b9df2a elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"2b9df2a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><b>Guilt<\/b> conflict<span style=\"font-weight: 700\"> <\/span>in <span style=\"font-weight: 700\">toxic <\/span>relationships<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8a97916 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"8a97916\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"western\">In the\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/11-empathic-narcissistic-relationship\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong><u>empathic-narcissistic<\/u><\/strong><\/a>\u00a0or narcissistic\/co-narcissistic dynamic, there\u2019s often a profound <strong>manipulation of guilt<\/strong>.<br \/>As discussed earlier, <strong>guilt<\/strong> often relates to whether we assume any responsibility for what has happened. In a codependent relationship (a \u201clock and key\u201d dynamic), there are two opposing ways of <strong>handling guilt<\/strong>.<\/p><p class=\"western\"><strong>In passive coping mode<\/strong>, the individual takes on the role of the <strong>&#8220;culprit.&#8221;<\/strong> Self-blame and frequent self-reproach are common, even outside of romantic relationships. The passive mode accepts <strong>responsibility<\/strong> and <strong>blame<\/strong>, sometimes even for negative outcomes not directly connected to them. Questions arise such as, <i>&#8220;Did I do something wrong?&#8221;<\/i> or <i>&#8220;Should I have done something differently?&#8221;\u2014<\/i>implying an <u>assumed personal stake<\/u> in the outcome, even if there\u2019s none. This mode is characterized by a tendency to be &#8220;over-involved,&#8221; feeling deeply connected to whatever has occurred. This also closely ties into the theme of <strong>boundaries<\/strong> and their blurring.<\/p><p class=\"western\">In the passive mode, <strong>sadness, depression<\/strong>, and pervasive <strong>guilt<\/strong> are dominant emotional states. Consequently, interactions with others often elicit <strong>sympathy<\/strong> and a tendency to approach the passive mode with <strong>caution<\/strong>. Often, those interacting may feel compelled to relieve the passive mode of <strong>its sense of guilt<\/strong> and <strong>absolve them of responsibility<\/strong>. This makes <b><u>passive mode<\/u><\/b> a self-directed <strong>mode of guilt-taking<\/strong>.<\/p><p class=\"western\"><strong>The active coping mode<\/strong> approaches <strong>guilt<\/strong> in the opposite way.<br \/>Here, <strong>feelings of guilt<\/strong> are avoided and redirected through <strong>accusations<\/strong> and <strong>self-centered behavior<\/strong> (<strong><u>externalization, projection<\/u><\/strong>). You might say that the active mode distances itself from accountability. It remains uninvolved in any negative outcome and rejects any sense of personal fault\u2014guilt is destabilizing to this person\u2019s <strong>self-image<\/strong>, and thus, must be dismissed entirely.<\/p><p class=\"western\">In the active mode, <strong>anger toward others<\/strong> is the dominant emotion, as the individual feels that someone else must be responsible for the discomfort or undesirable outcome. Consequently, they feel justified in resisting any attempts to assign them responsibility. This involves a reversal of accountability: blaming others for actions or consequences they won\u2019t accept as their own.<\/p><p class=\"western\"><strong>In interactions<\/strong>, the active mode may aggressively <b><u>assign blame to others<\/u><\/b> and often holds them <strong>responsible<\/strong> for outcomes. Those receiving such accusations may feel the need to confront quickly or even to morally judge the active mode\u2019s actions. Active mode embodies a <strong>mode of blaming others<\/strong>.<\/p><p class=\"western\">Thus, both active and passive modes display opposite reactions when faced with situations that imply some degree of <strong>personal responsibility<\/strong>. Both modes experience <strong>guilt<\/strong> yet cope in entirely different ways. While the active mode avoids guilt altogether, the passive mode seeks out its own culpability. This interaction sets up a typical <strong>victim-perpetrator dynamic<\/strong>, as illustrated in the <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Karpman_drama_triangle\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><br \/><strong><u>drama triangle<\/u><\/strong><\/a>\u00a0in transactional analysis.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-9f28a73 elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"9f28a73\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;,&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-ecc446f\" data-id=\"ecc446f\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5612224 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"5612224\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">The <b>blame-game<\/b> | <b>Guilt Dynamics<\/b> in toxic relationships\n<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-be3da80 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"be3da80\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>In the case of the <strong>guilt conflict<\/strong>, the dynamic in the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/11-toxic-empathic-narcissistic-relationship\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><u><b>empathic-narcissistic relationship<\/b><\/u><\/a> seems straightforward at first. The <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/causes-and-effects-of-narcissistic-wound\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><u><b>narcissistic individual<\/b><\/u><\/a> tends to project <strong>guilt<\/strong> onto their partner (active mode). Much like the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/conflicts-empathic-narcissistic-self-worth\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><u><b>self-worth conflict<\/b><\/u><\/a>, they find it nearly impossible to bear feelings of guilt consciously, as it threatens their self-image. Therefore, they externalize these feelings. The empathic partner, often in a passive mode, is quick to take responsibility for these projected feelings, willingly taking them on.<\/p><p>A person with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/empathic-between-love-and-dependency\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><u><b>empathic tendencies<\/b><\/u><\/a> typically &#8220;takes on&#8221; <strong>guilt<\/strong> quite readily. The sensation of guilt is familiar to them. As noted in the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/empathic-between-love-and-dependency\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><u><b>article on empathic dynamics<\/b><\/u><\/a>, empathic individuals often struggle with managing <strong>anger<\/strong> and <strong>self-assertion<\/strong>, leading to blurred boundaries. When boundaries are unclear, it becomes easy for the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/causes-and-effects-of-narcissistic-wound\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><u><b>narcissistic partner<\/b><\/u><\/a> to push their own uncomfortable feelings through these open &#8220;doors&#8221; of assumed guilt. The <u>narcissistic person avoids<\/u> guilt, while the <u>empathic partner absorbs<\/u> it.<\/p><p>Paradoxically, both individuals feel reinforced in their <strong>self-image<\/strong> and core feelings (such as anger and mistrust for the narcissist, or sadness and guilt for the empath), creating a complementary cycle. This cycle often plays out without either party fully realizing it, though outsiders may see it more clearly.<\/p><p>As with other conflicts, a <strong>guilt conflict<\/strong> can sometimes lead to a <strong>shift in behavior<\/strong>. With growing internalized guilt, the empathic person may transition into an <strong>active mode<\/strong>. The resentment they&#8217;ve held inside builds up until it eventually erupts. This expression of anger is, in itself, a healthy release. Within the dynamics of this relationship, however, it often becomes a moment where the empathic partner (often justifiably) attempts to hold the narcissistic partner accountable.<\/p><p><strong>Two potential scenarios<\/strong> can unfold:<\/p><p><strong>Scenario #1:<\/strong> The narcissistic partner takes on the <strong>victim role<\/strong> (passive mode).<\/p><p><strong>Scenario #2:<\/strong> They remain in active mode, once again placing blame on their partner.<\/p><p>In <strong>Scenario #1<\/strong>, the narcissistic partner may make certain <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/causes-and-effects-of-narcissistic-wound\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><u><b>concessions<\/b><\/u><\/a> to end the discomfort of the situation, though follow-through is often questionable. Alternatively, the narcissistic partner might adopt the victim role\u2014consciously or unconsciously\u2014to redirect the empathic partner\u2019s anger (often associated with guilt) into <strong>compassion<\/strong>. The empathic partner, who initially experienced clarity, may now find themselves <u>slipping back into guilt<\/u> as they perceive the narcissistic partner&#8217;s distress. This shift can cause them to lose sight of the original issue and diminish their clarity.<\/p><p>In <strong>Scenario #2<\/strong>, the narcissistic partner directly addresses the empathic person\u2019s <strong>feelings of guilt<\/strong>. They may<u> shift the topic<\/u>, deflecting from the immediate conflict. As detailed in the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/11-toxic-empathic-narcissistic-relationship\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><u><b>toxic relationship dynamics article<\/b><\/u><\/a>, this kind of topic-switching often leaves the empathic individual even more confused, especially when lacking clarity about the underlying dynamics. The narcissistic partner might bring up <u>past events as \u201cjustification\u201d for their current behavior<\/u>, subtly suggesting that the <u>empathic partner\u2019s actions have \u201cforced\u201d them<\/u> into this role. This tactic exploits the empath\u2019s readiness to assume guilt.<\/p><p>Over time, with the empathic individual struggling under the pressure of self-accusation, they may eventually revert to a passive stance, often ending their active attempts to assert boundaries. In some cases, if clarity and resolve are maintained, the empathic individual may persist in their call for change. This can lead to either a <strong>continuous cycle<\/strong> of conflict or, with enough clarity on the empath\u2019s side, an <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/15-keys-heal-empaths-empathic-narcissistic\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><strong>end to the relationship<\/strong><\/span><\/a>. For meaningful change to happen, one partner must break the cycle.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-db050a8 elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"db050a8\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-42855a5\" data-id=\"42855a5\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b89cab4 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"b89cab4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><span style=\"color: var( --e-global-color-primary );font-size: 1.8vw\">Finding <\/span><span style=\"color: var( --e-global-color-primary );font-size: 1.8vw;font-weight: 700\">balance<\/span><span style=\"color: var( --e-global-color-primary );font-size: 1.8vw\"> | Leaving the <\/span><span style=\"color: var( --e-global-color-primary );font-size: 1.8vw;font-weight: 700\">blame-game <\/span><span style=\"color: var( --e-global-color-primary );font-size: 1.8vw\">&amp; toxic relationships<\/span><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c07b8b9 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"c07b8b9\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"western\" style=\"color: black;\">A mode is a mode. Both parties involved in this dynamic deprive themselves of the opportunity to learn a <strong>constructive approach<\/strong> to <b>feelings of guilt<\/b> and <b>responsibility<\/b>.<br \/>For the <strong>active mode<\/strong>, it would mean acknowledging involvement in the events and opening up to the <strong>true experience of guilt<\/strong>. Often, this door remains tightly closed, with the feeling itself deeply buried.<br \/>In <strong>passive mode<\/strong>, one could examine what they are genuinely willing to take responsibility for, considering whether it truly falls within their domain, and to what extent <b>old beliefs<\/b> and <b>conditioning<\/b> may be influencing them. This could be worked on considering the topic of healthy\u00a0<strong>boundaries<\/strong>.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-c36ae10 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"c36ae10\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-2d1d174\" data-id=\"2d1d174\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2574ff8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"2574ff8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Consciousness &amp; Decision<b> <\/b>|<b> Responsibilty <\/b>vs <b>guilt<\/b><\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7d8182c elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"7d8182c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"western\" style=\"color: black;\">Many people find themselves caught in a <strong>conflict of guilt<\/strong> after a breakup. The <strong>blame-game<\/strong> continues, even if there is <strong>no actual relationship<\/strong> anymore. This is something I&#8217;ve observed frequently in my coaching sessions. Accumulated anger and insecurity fuel an ongoing, internal cycle of questioning and justifying. In <a href=\"https:\/\/www.exit-gaslighting.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b><u>my (german) book Exit Gaslighting<\/u><\/b><\/a>, I refer to this as the <b><i>inner monologue of evidence<\/i><\/b>. The question\u00a0<strong><i>&#8220;Who\u00b4s to blame?&#8221;<\/i><\/strong> continues, leaving the empathic person cycling between two states.<\/p><p class=\"western\" style=\"color: black;\"><strong>State #1:<\/strong> In a state of pent-up <b>anger<\/b>, the empathic person may see only the <b><u>negative aspects of the narcissistic counterpart<\/u><\/b>. For a time, this can be healing and corrective, allowing them to finally place the blame elsewhere. In this state, they often find it difficult to acknowledge or even tolerate their own role (active mode). Simply thinking about their own involvement can be destabilizing. For empathic individuals used to staying in passive mode, any recognition of their own role feels as if it justifies the narcissistic counterpart&#8217;s actions, often creating a stark <strong>black-or-white<\/strong> perspective. Admitting their own involvement feels like excusing the other person\u2019s behavior, characteristic of the passive mode, but here, the empath is in active mode. The passive self is flooded with feelings of guilt \u2013 a place they certainly don&#8217;t want to go. Eventually, they switch to&#8230;<\/p><p class=\"western\" style=\"color: black;\"><strong>State #2:<\/strong> This state typically follows state #1. Now, the empathic person fixates on their own role, even to the point of feeling <strong>entirely responsible for the whole situation<\/strong> (passive mode). They see mistakes they think they made, moments they believe they lacked understanding or could have done more. The strict superego surfaces, bringing along self-critique. Here, they begin to <strong>blame<\/strong> themselves in passive mode for having been in <strong>state #1<\/strong> (active mode), and for letting <strong>blind rage<\/strong> take control. Eventually, this burden becomes overwhelming, and they switch back to <strong>state #1<\/strong>.<\/p><p class=\"western\" style=\"color: black;\">In this cycle, the empathic person continues the <strong>blame-game<\/strong> within themselves, alternating between modes of self-judgment, with <strong>black-and-white<\/strong> thinking about <strong>good and bad<\/strong>. The external world merely reflects this internal conflict. The resolution might lie in the empath learning to <strong>accept<\/strong> their role in the overall dynamic, while simultaneously recognizing the other person&#8217;s role.<br \/>Initially, it may be challenging to hold both perspectives together. This back-and-forth may even be <strong>necessary<\/strong> to process the inner conflict, cultivating an <strong>awareness<\/strong> of it.<\/p><p class=\"western\" style=\"color: black;\">Eventually, as it becomes clear that both the empath and their counterpart played roles in this interaction, <strong>peace<\/strong> can be achieved, <b><u>balancing the empath\u2019s internal conflict<\/u><\/b>. Clarity sets in, and one can recognize that it\u2019s not about &#8220;guilt,&#8221; but about <strong>responsibility<\/strong> \u2013 primarily, <b><u>responsibility to oneself<\/u><\/b>. This understanding serves as a <strong>safeguard<\/strong> against re-engaging in similar dynamics.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8476ddd elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"8476ddd\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><b>Overcompensating<\/b> guilt | stuck in accusation (active mode)<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5768085 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"5768085\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"western\" style=\"color: black;\">Numerous online platforms can, often unconsciously, perpetuate the active <strong>guilt mode<\/strong> after such experiences. See also the article on <b><u>Self-sabotage through adherence to concepts<\/u><\/b>. After experiences like these, connecting with others who offer <strong>validation<\/strong> and <strong>empathy<\/strong> can be comforting, and this has its purpose and place.<\/p><p class=\"western\" style=\"color: black;\">All the pain, suffering, and anger may now surface, and this is <u>necessary<\/u>. But staying stuck in <u>accusation mode<\/u> means living in the <strong>active guilt mode<\/strong>, replaying the past and clinging to an <strong>unresolved conflict<\/strong>, holding onto beliefs about <strong>good<\/strong> and <strong>bad<\/strong> and reinforcing a <strong>victim role<\/strong>. This unresolved inner conflict may eventually manifest outwardly.<br \/>Instead, we can address <strong>our own feelings of guilt<\/strong>, resolving what has kept us in this loop. Embracing our inner <strong>anger as a tool of clarity<\/strong> allows for <strong>transformation<\/strong> of our own contributions.<\/p><p class=\"western\" style=\"color: black;\">Remaining in <strong>active mode<\/strong> keeps people stuck in a loop, where holding onto a demand for <strong>justice<\/strong> causes life to pass by. This article is also a reminder to coaches, trainers, and guides \u2013 <b><u>be mindful of how you support others<\/u><\/b> in these situations!<\/p><p class=\"western\" style=\"color: black;\">It\u00b4s healthy to distribute the responsibility of the other person to where it belongs!\u00a0No one needs to bear responsibility for another&#8217;s actions! It\u2019s crucial to establish <strong>boundaries<\/strong> and <u>redirect responsibility<\/u> where it belongs, fostering a <strong>healthy self-responsibility<\/strong> in the process.<br \/>This can help to <strong>resolve<\/strong> inner conflicts where they reside: within oneself.<\/p><p class=\"western\" style=\"color: black;\">This message is extended to everyone involved in such dynamics: partners, ex-partners, children. I invite you to embrace <strong>resolution<\/strong>, let go of guilt, and take ownership of your path forward as a result of these experiences.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-92ed3b1 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"92ed3b1\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><b>Summary<\/b> &amp; Outlook<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-574e1a1 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"574e1a1\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p class=\"western\" style=\"color: black;\">Questions around the <strong>conflict of guilt<\/strong> can be revisited:<\/p><ol style=\"color: black;\"><li><i>How long do I want to believe I am responsible for so much, even for things beyond my control?<\/i><\/li><li><i>Do I want to keep thinking that, as a person, I am fundamentally <strong>wrong<\/strong> or <strong>guilty<\/strong>?<\/i><\/li><li><i>Is it really true that the other person has no responsibility while I carry it all?<\/i><\/li><li><i style=\"font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\"><i style=\"font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\">How much longer will I <strong>excuse<\/strong> others\u2019 behaviors while holding myself accountable without mercy?<\/i><\/i><p>\u00a0<\/p><\/li><\/ol><p>These questions, along with my articles and work, can nourish your mind and intuition. They aim to open a space where transformation can unfold. In my coaching and tools like\u00a0<a style=\"font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight ); background-color: #ffffff;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/process-tools-verbal-transformation\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong><u>verbal transformation<\/u><\/strong><\/a><span style=\"font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif;\"><span style=\"font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\">, I guide you to <\/span><u><span style=\"font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\">what feels right for <\/span><b>you<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\"> now<\/span><\/u><span style=\"font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\">.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-fe1f668 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"fe1f668\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-weight);\">Everyone can play their part. For today, my part is done.\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"color: var( --e-global-color-text ); font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\">I hope this article inspires you to set sail, <u>moving beyond the question of guilt<\/u> and charting a course toward new shores of <\/span><span style=\"color: var( --e-global-color-text ); font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif;\"><b>self-determination<\/b><\/span><span style=\"color: var( --e-global-color-text ); font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\"> and <\/span><span style=\"color: var( --e-global-color-text ); font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif;\"><b>personal responsibility<\/b><\/span><span style=\"color: var( --e-global-color-text ); font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\">. Embrace all parts of yourself <\/span><span style=\"color: var( --e-global-color-text ); font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif;\"><b><u>with love<\/u><\/b><\/span><span style=\"color: var( --e-global-color-text ); font-family: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-family ), Sans-serif; font-weight: var( --e-global-typography-text-font-weight );\"> along the way.<\/span><\/p><p>Wishing you a smooth journey! Good luck, take care, and until next time!<br \/>Love,\u00a0<br \/>Kristina<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-5e97336 elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5e97336\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;,&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-06f67b8\" data-id=\"06f67b8\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-24b7001 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"24b7001\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Invitation<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1048570 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"1048570\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re considering being accompanied through the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/mirror-process-inner-universe\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><strong>mirror process of inner work<\/strong><\/span><\/a>, you can book a <a href=\"https:\/\/tidycal.com\/psysoulogy\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b><u>free preliminary talk in my booking calendar<\/u><\/b><\/a> at the top right of this page or below this entry.\n\n<span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-weight);\">The <\/span><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: bolder;\">model assumptions<\/span><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-weight);\"> are based on years of professional<\/span> <span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: bolder;\">observation<\/span><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-weight);\">, personal<\/span> <span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: bolder;\">experience<\/span><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-weight);\">, and knowledge from<\/span> <span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: bolder;\">psychoanalysis, psychodynamics, and developmental psychology<\/span><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-weight);\">. For more information, please refer to the<\/span> <a style=\"text-decoration-line: underline;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/copyright\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: bolder;\">Copyright<\/span><\/a><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-weight);\"> notice. The articles, including assumptions and hypotheses, may be<\/span> <span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: bolder;\">shared freely<\/span><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-weight);\">, but please always provide<\/span> <span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: bolder;\">attribution\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text); font-family: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-family), Sans-serif; font-weight: var(--e-global-typography-text-font-weight);\">(my name and the website).<\/span>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Overview INTRODUCTION A prerequisite for understanding this conflict is the\u00a0basic article of this article series.The assumptions of this series are based on the\u00a0model of collusion by Willi. They were adapted, interpreted and transferred by the author.\u00a0Therefore this article series is subject to\u00a0copyright. Conflict | Guilt &amp; it\u00b4s conceptualization Before we dive into this topic, I\u2019d [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":12432,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_glsr_average":0,"_glsr_ranking":0,"_glsr_reviews":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[857],"tags":[903,980,976,982,908,978,973,977,979,974,981,892,975,1192,966],"class_list":["post-12787","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-toxic-relationships","tag-co-narcissism","tag-communication-issues","tag-conflict-resolution","tag-coping-strategies","tag-drama-triangle","tag-emotional-abuse","tag-emotional-manipulation","tag-guilt","tag-healing-from-guilt","tag-personal-boundaries","tag-psychological-effects","tag-relationship-dynamics","tag-self-esteem","tag-self-worth-en","tag-toxic-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12787","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12787"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12787\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12432"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12787"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12787"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12787"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}