{"id":12773,"date":"2021-07-24T12:23:02","date_gmt":"2021-07-24T10:23:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/healing-toxic-relationship-with-yourself-the-basics-and-3-phenomena-of-toxic-relationships\/"},"modified":"2024-11-03T13:53:03","modified_gmt":"2024-11-03T12:53:03","slug":"6-steps-heal-toxic-relationship-within","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/6-steps-heal-toxic-relationship-within\/","title":{"rendered":"6 steps to heal a toxic relationship within | 5 prerequisites &amp; 3 phenomena"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"12773\" class=\"elementor elementor-12773 elementor-4676\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-f308ff5 elementor-section-content-middle elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"f308ff5\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-07cf97e\" data-id=\"07cf97e\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-80be425 elementor-toc--minimized-on-tablet elementor-widget elementor-widget-table-of-contents\" data-id=\"80be425\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;headings_by_tags&quot;:[&quot;h3&quot;],&quot;exclude_headings_by_selector&quot;:[],&quot;no_headings_message&quot;:&quot;No headings were found on this page.&quot;,&quot;marker_view&quot;:&quot;numbers&quot;,&quot;minimize_box&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;minimized_on&quot;:&quot;tablet&quot;,&quot;hierarchical_view&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;min_height&quot;:{&quot;unit&quot;:&quot;px&quot;,&quot;size&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:[]},&quot;min_height_tablet&quot;:{&quot;unit&quot;:&quot;px&quot;,&quot;size&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:[]},&quot;min_height_mobile&quot;:{&quot;unit&quot;:&quot;px&quot;,&quot;size&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:[]}}\" data-widget_type=\"table-of-contents.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toc__header\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-toc__header-title\">\n\t\t\t\tOverview\t\t\t<\/h4>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toc__toggle-button elementor-toc__toggle-button--expand\" role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" aria-controls=\"elementor-toc__80be425\" aria-expanded=\"true\" aria-label=\"Open table of contents\"><i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-chevron-down\"><\/i><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toc__toggle-button elementor-toc__toggle-button--collapse\" role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" aria-controls=\"elementor-toc__80be425\" aria-expanded=\"true\" aria-label=\"Close table of contents\"><i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-chevron-up\"><\/i><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-toc__80be425\" class=\"elementor-toc__body\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toc__spinner-container\">\n\t\t\t\t<i class=\"elementor-toc__spinner eicon-animation-spin eicon-loading\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/i>\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e060b62 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"e060b62\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">What is a <b>toxic relationship?<\/b><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5f55ef7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"5f55ef7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text);\">The term <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/12-signs-indicating-a-toxic-relationship\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text);\"><u>&#8220;toxic relationship&#8221;<\/u><\/strong><\/a><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text);\"> is widely used nowadays. We might feel that almost any relationship could be labeled as &#8220;toxic&#8221; or could contain &#8220;toxic elements.&#8221; And to some extent, that\u2019s true. Every relationship can include elements that are &#8220;unhealthy&#8221; or at least have the potential to become harmful.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text);\">It&#8217;s important to use this terminology carefully, as any relationship is also a <strong>space for experience and growth<\/strong>. Our interactions with others challenge us to understand <strong>who we really are<\/strong> or <strong>want to be<\/strong>. Relationships can act as catalysts, helping us become more <strong>aware of ourselves<\/strong>, our desires, <b><u><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Shadow_(psychology)\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">shadows<\/a><\/u><\/b>, and how we want to <strong>express ourselves<\/strong>. To make certain choices, we must connect with others, and sometimes, experiencing what we <u>don\u2019t want<\/u> helps us clarify <u>what we do want<\/u> and who <strong>we truly are<\/strong>.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text);\">In my view, a persistent<a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/empath-narcissist-key-toxic-relationships\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> <strong><u>&#8220;toxic relationship&#8221;<\/u><\/strong><\/a> is characterized by at least two people who prevent each other from exploring and deciding who they truly are. Such a relationship can hinder natural growth.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text);\">Perhaps you\u2019ve explored <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/blog-inner-universe-toxic-relationships\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b><u>my blog<\/u><\/b><\/a> and come across the <u>articles on the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/empath-narcissist-key-toxic-relationships\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>empathic-narcissistic dynamic<\/strong><\/a><\/u>? This destructive pattern involves <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/empathic-narciss-attract-8-core-conflict\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong><u>complementary roles<\/u><\/strong><\/a> that reflect <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/2-toxic-relationship-indiv-dependency\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong><u>shared inner conflicts<\/u><\/strong><\/a>. These conflicts, combined with different ways of coping, create a magnetic attraction, a collusive <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/empathic-narciss-attract-8-core-conflict\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong><u>magnetism<\/u><\/strong><\/a> that is common in nearly every <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/special-case-toxic-relationship\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>toxic relationship<\/strong><\/a>. For an article on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/12-signs-indicating-a-toxic-relationship\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong><u>12 signs indicating a toxic relationship, click here.<\/u><\/strong><\/a><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text);\">In a <strong>toxic relationship<\/strong>, interactions emerge from an <strong>internal script, a blueprint<\/strong> within each person. The <strong>interlocking processes<\/strong> follow a specific, repetitive <strong>pattern<\/strong> for <strong>both individuals<\/strong>, making further development impossible. Instead, they may become entrenched in a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/survival-mode-trauma-co-narcissism-heal\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong><u>drama triangle that activates unconscious survival mechanisms<\/u><\/strong><\/a>.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text);\">In this state, each person battles the other without understanding the underlying issues. As a result, the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/5-conflicts-toxic-relationship-self-worth\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>internal conflicts go unnoticed<\/strong><\/a>, and they remain unconsciously trapped in a <strong>self-imposed limitation<\/strong>. This imaginary inner constraint, based on misprogramming, can lead to <strong>anger, rage, sadness<\/strong>, and <strong>despair<\/strong>.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: var(--e-global-color-text);\">A <strong>toxic relationship<\/strong> externally prevents you from looking within, where true realization happens. Only by understanding can you break free from external drama. In my view, a <strong>toxic relationship<\/strong> exists when we engage in a relationship that hinders our development in love, <strong>self-expression, courage<\/strong>, and <strong>awareness<\/strong>. This is when we become trapped in a cage of <strong>self-imposed limitations<\/strong>.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-4eedd24 elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"4eedd24\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-a3d5ccb\" data-id=\"a3d5ccb\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9af6d8e elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"9af6d8e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Can a <b>toxic relationship <\/b>work?<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7dc0168 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"7dc0168\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Many people are asking themselves this question. On\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/@freieres_leben\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b><u>my YouTube channel<\/u><\/b><\/a>\u00a0I have addressed this question in two (german) videos. You may use auto-translated subtitles:<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-e15c148 elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"e15c148\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-4126ffd\" data-id=\"4126ffd\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-5a48aca elementor-section-content-middle elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5a48aca\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-66 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-6acae20\" data-id=\"6acae20\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b9500e1 elementor-widget elementor-widget-video\" data-id=\"b9500e1\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;youtube_url&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/www.youtube.com\\\/watch?v=dCcICohfZC4&quot;,&quot;video_type&quot;:&quot;youtube&quot;,&quot;controls&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"video.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-wrapper elementor-open-inline\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-video\"><\/div>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-33 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-652ebed\" data-id=\"652ebed\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1f84db2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-video\" data-id=\"1f84db2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;youtube_url&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/www.youtube.com\\\/watch?v=bkxNaYOgvGc&quot;,&quot;video_type&quot;:&quot;youtube&quot;,&quot;controls&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"video.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-wrapper elementor-open-inline\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-video\"><\/div>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d012eae elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"d012eae\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><b>Foundation<\/b> of toxic relationships | <b>5 missing prerequisites<\/b> for a <b>healthy relationship<\/b> (in- and outside)\n<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d249548 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"d249548\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>A toxic relationship lacks <strong>prerequisites<\/strong> necessary for a healthy relationship. They are not (sufficiently) available. These <strong>prerequisites<\/strong> are not only missing <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">in the relationship<\/span> between the involved ones (= outside), but also inside &#8211; in <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">their relationship with themselves<\/span>! The absence of these <strong>prerequisites within<\/strong> affects the <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">formation of a toxic relationship<\/span> at the outside:<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-a2440eb elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"a2440eb\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-a765ea5\" data-id=\"a765ea5\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1d9d309 elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"1d9d309\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">1. Trust<\/h4>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-14fc202 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"14fc202\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><strong>Outside:<\/strong> Repeating manipulation, degradation, harsh criticism, and devaluation fracture and eliminate trust. Unconsciously acting out of <b><u><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Shadow_(psychology)\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">suppressed shadows<\/a><\/u><\/b> and unresolved <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/empathic-narciss-attract-8-core-conflict\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><u>Conflicts<\/u><\/a><\/strong>. This is not happening consciously, but the participants may sense that something is wrong. <br \/>On a deeper level, partners in a toxic relationship l<u>ack trust in <strong>themselves and each other<\/strong><\/u>. This makes a deep, holistic relaxation (&#8220;letting go&#8221;) difficult. There\u2019s always a subtle cautiousness, as each doubts the other&#8217;s &#8220;good intentions&#8221; (and their own). The participants feel bullied, overlooked, attacked, and hurt by each other repeatedly, leading them to believe they cannot trust <strong>their partner or the relationship<\/strong>.<\/p><p><strong>Inside:<\/strong> There is a <strong><u>lack of self-trust<\/u><\/strong> as well. A <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/thoughts-determine-reality-detox\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b><u>persistent belief<\/u><\/b><\/a> suggests something is wrong with them, leading to feelings, longings, and inner aspects that must be hidden, controlled, or banned. This results in an <u>inner relationship of distrust<\/u>, where participants feel <u>unable to show and fully commit to everything they are<\/u> (shadows, taboos). Their motives and ability to love are questioned.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3768ceb elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"3768ceb\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">2. Commitment<\/h4>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d7b236c elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"d7b236c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><b>In-\/Outside:<\/b> The participants cannot fully commit <strong>to themselves or to each other<\/strong>. The commitment given is inconsistent, fluctuating. Both <strong>reject aspects of themselves and their partner<\/strong> but try to \u201cfit\u201d together. When <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/empath-narcissist-key-toxic-relationships\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b><u>self-suppression fails or problems arise<\/u><\/b><\/a>, one party withdraws their commitment, creating distance. The other then experiences fear of loss and attempts <strong>to &#8220;force&#8221; the other\u2019s commitment<\/strong>\u2014even if hurt by the previous actions. This often results in inappropriate behavior, like chasing, opening discussions, excusing, or overstepping boundaries. In this process, the individual loses track of <strong>Self-Commitment<\/strong>\u2014the <strong>&#8220;Yes&#8221;<\/strong>\u00a0to oneself as an independent person.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8d7f1c4 elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"8d7f1c4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">3. Respect<\/h4>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a9d20f5 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"a9d20f5\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold;\">In-\/Outside:<\/span>\u00a0Both\u00a0<strong>do not fully respect each other<\/strong> because they <strong>do not see each other completely<\/strong>. Silent expectations and projections merge at an unconscious level: <i>\u201cIt should be like this, not like that\u2026\u201d<\/i> There\u2019s a persistent misalignment of the relationship and partner with what \u201cshould be\u201d\u2014an <u>inner rigid blueprint<\/u>. Stuck in these expectations, the partners <u>lose sight of how things really <strong>are<\/strong><\/u>. A repeated misconception is that <u>the partner must change<\/u> if they don\u2019t match the image or expectations. This generates an <strong>energy of rejection<\/strong>, confirming self-rejection within the other. In toxic relationships, partners rarely see each other as they <strong>truly are<\/strong>. A powerful, honest decision (Self-Commitment) based on acceptance and respect of the other&#8217;s individuality (e.g., <i>\u201cIf they are like that and I am like this, what does that mean for me?\u201d<\/i>) seems not given. By focusing on changing themselves or the other, <strong>self-respect and respect for the other are lost<\/strong> (<i>\u201cWho am I, and what do I want? What are my limits?\u201d<\/i>).<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0b20959 elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"0b20959\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">4. Honesty \/ Openness<\/h4>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7cd59a9 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"7cd59a9\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><strong>In-\/Outside:<\/strong> Involved ones usually avoid confrontation openly and honestly. The relationship becomes strategic (e.g., <i>\u201cWhat can I say, and what should I avoid? Will this help me achieve my goal?\u201d<\/i>). Both try <strong>to hide things from each other<\/strong> due to the lack of trust. This often reflects <strong>dishonesty with oneself<\/strong>, as each conceals inner aspects that may be shameful or don\u2019t fit their self-image. The same pattern extends to their outward behavior.\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2429c67 elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"2429c67\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">5. Healthy Boundaries<\/h4>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-cc942e8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"cc942e8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: bolder;\">In-\/Outside:\u00a0<\/span>Without these fundamental requirements, mutual <strong>respect and the creation of healthy boundaries<\/strong> are hindered. Those in toxic relationships often overstep each other\u2019s boundaries, digging into each other\u2019s lives and inner world <u>without permission<\/u> (see Respect). This fosters <strong>unhealthy entanglement<\/strong>. Over time, these dynamics deepen, and the individuals increasingly engage in unhealthy ways, moving further from a <strong>healthy relationship with themselves (and each other)<\/strong>. They become absorbed in the &#8220;energetic field&#8221; of the other (what blurs the boundaries within as well), losing <strong>self-respect, honesty<\/strong>, and <strong>self-commitment<\/strong>. Instead of being &#8220;with themselves,&#8221; they are with the other. This erodes <u>natural inner boundaries<\/u>, leading to psycho-energetic symbiosis &amp; causes confusion, self-alienation, dependency, and a blurred sense of individuality.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-11dff5a elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"11dff5a\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3a84c2d2\" data-id=\"3a84c2d2\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-567d69d9 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"567d69d9\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Maybe you agree, that the absence of these 5 prerequisites for healthy relationships definitely reinforces the genesis &amp; dynamics of<br \/>toxic relationships?<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-5f2f5fb elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5f2f5fb\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-d3c8126\" data-id=\"d3c8126\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5f703fa elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"5f703fa\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">3 Phenomena of<b> toxic relationships<\/b><b>\n<\/b><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-58cf7bc elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"58cf7bc\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>By the following three phenomena I\u00b4ll point out, how <b><u>a toxic relationship within<\/u><\/b> contributes to <u>unhealthy dynamics<\/u> in <b>external toxic relationships<\/b>.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a5d1050 elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"a5d1050\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">1. <b>Taboos<\/b> &amp; inner <b>prohibitions<\/b> | <b>Shame, Guilt<\/b>, and <b>shadows<\/b><\/h4>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-839ff21 elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"839ff21\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><strong>Shame<\/strong> is the root of so much suffering and pain. Humans feel shame about many things. For decades, even centuries, society has taught us to feel <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/6-core-conflict-toxic-relationships-guilt\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><u>guilty<\/u><\/a><\/strong> &#8211; a socially imposed misprogramming. Take sexuality, for example. Consider how many people feel <strong>ashamed<\/strong> and blush as soon as the topic is mentioned, or have trouble enjoying their sexuality or discussing it naturally, even with their partners. Similarly, we often feel shame about <strong>\u201cbad feelings\u201d<\/strong> like envy, anger, and jealousy. Although these are natural emotions, we tend to suppress them. When aspects of ourselves trigger shame or guilt, we often hide them in a dark corner of our consciousness.<\/p><p>This is where a <strong>toxic relationship within<\/strong> can begin: we establish an unhealthy <strong>relationship<\/strong> with these aspects because they are &#8220;forbidden.&#8221; This leads to diminishing honesty within ourselves, and the emergence of a \u201crole\u201d that doesn&#8217;t fully reflect who we are. These rejected parts grow into <strong>powerful shadows<\/strong> and <strong>taboos<\/strong>. We carry these companions into every relationship, and a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/empath-narcissist-key-toxic-relationships\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b><u>toxic relationship<\/u><\/b><\/a> often <strong>demands the absence of these shadows<\/strong>. Initially, it may feel comfortable, as if the shadows have disappeared, but they remain, subtly influencing our feelings &amp; interactions.<\/p><p>The aspects themselves aren&#8217;t harmful. It\u2019s actually <strong>shame<\/strong>, <strong>guilt<\/strong>, and subsequent <strong>denial<\/strong> that can motivate us to enter and maintain toxic relationships. Even if the cycle is painful, it helps us shut out parts of ourselves that we have pushed away. In other words, a <strong>toxic relationship<\/strong> with someone allows us to <u>successfully deny certain shadows<\/u> and <u>separate them from our self-image<\/u>. As long as this is not working anymore: Conflicts in toxic relationships often escalate <u>because<\/u> these relationships served to suppress these aspects. When <u>conflicts<\/u> arise, <u>they trigger these hidden aspects<\/u>, often causing people to act out or bear more than they should.<\/p><p><strong><u>Summary:<\/u><\/strong> Thoughts, feelings, and actions in toxic relationships are often influenced by <strong>shame<\/strong>, <strong>guilt<\/strong>, and partial self-denial. In these situations, we may agree to <strong>not fully be present<\/strong> (Self-Commitment).<\/p><p><strong><u>Where You Can Start:<\/u><\/strong> Acknowledging taboos, prohibitions, and shadows is the first step toward a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/mirror-process-inner-universe\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong><u>healthy inner relationship<\/u><\/strong><\/a>. That\u00b4s the field, where I start with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/special-case-toxic-relationship\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><strong>my coachings<\/strong><\/span><\/a>. <br \/>Strive to accept all parts of yourself with honesty. This commitment lays the foundation for <strong>reconciliatory integration<\/strong>, gradually dissolving a <strong>toxic relationship within<\/strong>. As inner peace grows, our <strong>external relationships<\/strong> will also change.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a781483 elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"a781483\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">2. Lack of <b>clarity<\/b> about <b>who you truly are<\/b> | Oscillation between poles <\/h4>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-cb01df7 elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"cb01df7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>If you don\u2019t know who you truly are or want to be (including relationships), this can keep you in a toxic cycle. People in toxic relationships often <u>feel and act like a pendulum<\/u>, swinging between extremes. At one moment, <b>anger<\/b> arises, and you<u> feel ready to break free<\/u>. <br \/>This aspect (let\u2019s call it Aspect A) accuses others, thinking, <em><u>\u201cI won\u2019t take this anymore! I\u2019m done!\u201d<\/u><\/em> But then, another inner aspect (Aspect B) surfaces, filled with <strong>loneliness and a need for connection<\/strong>. Feelings of guilt may appear because Aspect A is then judged as \u201charsh,\u201d maybe if that reaction (A) was for maintaining healthy boundaries.<\/p><p>This pendulum effect prevents <strong>integration<\/strong>, meaning <strong>clarity<\/strong> from Aspect A disappears once Aspect B dominates. Aspect B pushes you to reconnect, ignoring Aspect A\u2019s insights and boundaries. This leaves you stuck in a cycle of regret and reconnecting, with no lasting resolution.\u00a0<\/p><p><strong><u>Questions to Reflect On:<\/u><\/strong> <em>Who are you, and what is your <u>true intention<\/u> in this situation?<\/em> Without an <strong>integration<\/strong> of these aspects, there is <u>no stable answer<\/u> to <em><strong>\u201cWho am I, and who do I want to be?\u201d<\/strong><\/em> A <strong>toxic relationship within<\/strong> lacks this integration, with conflicting parts that take turns making decisions.<\/p><p><strong><u>What is needed:<\/u><\/strong> A healthy <strong>consistency<\/strong> achieved through the loving acceptance of <u>all inner aspects<\/u>. Without integration, the pendulum will continue to swing, maintaining both an <u>inner and outer toxic cycle<\/u>. A toxic relationship within perpetuates an external toxic relationship. An <strong>unconditional integration<\/strong> is needed. Look at yourself openly before taking action, asking, <em><u>\u201cAm I listening to all parts of myself? Am I considering everything within me?\u201d<\/u><\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b82115c elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"b82115c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">3. Avoiding <b>insecurity<\/b> | the partner as <b>reference<\/b> &amp; <b>guide<\/b> | <b>Identification <\/b><\/h4>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-46cdb62 elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"46cdb62\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>The true difficulty of a <strong>toxic relationship<\/strong> is that it can irrationally <u>serve us<\/u>, distracting from internal issues and keeping us from transforming <strong>insecurity<\/strong> into genuine values and self-commitment. Many people (unconsciously) remain in toxic relationships because their counterpart to serves them as delivarant for\u00a0<strong>values, attitudes,<\/strong> and <strong>identity<\/strong>. <br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/high-sensitivity-empathic-wound\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><u>Insecurity within can be a trigger to reach out<\/u>.<\/a> Then it\u00b4s a <u>relief to follow another\u2019s lead<\/u>, even at the cost of neglecting one\u2019s true self and authentic expression. Eventually, we focus on what is expected of us rather than what we truly need (related to people-pleasing). Over time, this erodes access to our <strong>Instinct Nature<\/strong>.<\/p><p>Our <strong>individual self<\/strong> is overshadowed in this dynamic, making the counterpart a <strong>representative of our identity<\/strong>. This <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/2-toxic-relationship-indiv-dependency\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b><u>dependency<\/u><\/b><\/a>\u00a0and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/3-conflict-toxic-relation-submiss-control\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b><u>submission<\/u><\/b><\/a> is an invitation for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/3-conflict-toxic-relation-submiss-control\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b><u>others who seek to control<\/u><\/b><\/a> or influence. In doing so, we avoid facing our inner fears, and our true self is diminished.<\/p><p><strong><u>Conclusion:<\/u><\/strong> A toxic relationship often reflects <u>unresolved aspects within us<\/u>. True healing starts with a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/special-case-toxic-relationship\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b><u>compassionate integration of all facets<\/u><\/b><\/a> of the self, fostering peace within and, ultimately, in our outer relationships.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-7756cb1 elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"7756cb1\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-f386f8a\" data-id=\"f386f8a\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c46239e elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"c46239e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">6 steps to slowly integrate &amp; <b>heal<\/b> a<b> toxic relationship within<\/b><b>\n<\/b><\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ac256d8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"ac256d8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: black;\">The three phenomena described above are only an excerpt of a much wider range of <strong>parallels<\/strong> between an <strong>external toxic relationship<\/strong> and the one <strong>within<\/strong>. The following\u00a0<u>six points<\/u> to integrate &amp; heal a toxic relationship within will assist you to address the<b> 3 phenomena<\/b> &amp; the <b>absent 5 prerequisites\u00a0for a healthy relationship<\/b>. Consequently our starting point is always the\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/blog-inner-universe-toxic-relationships\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong><u>inner work<\/u><\/strong>!<\/a><\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ed64f4f elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"ed64f4f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">1. Learn to <b>shift shame<\/b><\/h4>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-dcd6caa elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"dcd6caa\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><strong>Do not feel ashamed<\/strong> &#8211; no matter what. Everything inside you is human and part of your\u00a0<strong>human experience<\/strong>. You don\u00b4t have to empower shadows and act them out recklessly! But rejection, shame, and guilt won\u2019t help you integrate these aspects in a healthy way. Allow yourself to feel and <b>observe everything<\/b>! If shame and guilt come up, please <u>don\u2019t feel guilty about it<\/u> too (yes, humans can be quite confused!). <b>Observe<\/b> sensations and judgments without getting lost in them. That will initiate a shift to acceptance and thus, integration.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3fc1a8b elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"3fc1a8b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">2. Identify &amp; <b>break up with taboos<\/b><\/h4>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6c8c3f7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"6c8c3f7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Start within yourself consciously. Approach your impulses, sensations, and <b><u>inner universe<\/u><\/b> with <strong>curiosity<\/strong> and <strong>objectivity<\/strong>: <em>&#8220;Interesting &#8211; I didn\u2019t know this was also a part of me&#8230;&#8221;<\/em> In moments of self-condemnation, simply add: <em>&#8220;And interesting that I want to condemn this right away&#8230;&#8221;<\/em> This may create a laugh or at least some <strong>distance from self-judgments and -devaluations<\/strong>. Once you realize you don\u00b4t have to do anything else than <u>just acknowledging<\/u> taboos, you can decide consciously how you want to react on them.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-551d02c elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"551d02c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">3. Observe your inner stage &amp; become <b>aware <\/b>of your <b>facets<\/b><\/h4>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-60ac2c6 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"60ac2c6\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Within everyone of us there\u00b4s an<strong> interplay of aspects and states<\/strong> &#8211; such as anger vs. need (see Aspect A &amp; B). You can learn to recognize all parts &amp; other conflicting impulses within you. Become <b>aware<\/b>! Encounter those facets with equal attention, observation and acceptance. <strong>Allow yourself to feel everything<\/strong>. Learn to recognize when one aspect takes center stage, and <strong>consciously decide to stay in touch with the experience and needs of the other aspects as well<\/strong>. Before making a decision, <strong>listen to both sides equally<\/strong> and avoid excluding anything. Ask yourself: <em>&#8220;Is my present decision consistent with what I felt and decided earlier? Am I sufficiently considering who I was before?&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-70ec93c elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"70ec93c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">4. <b>Reflect<\/b> sincerely the <b>roles<\/b> &amp; <b>importance<\/b> of your partner<\/h4>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-70e651a elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"70e651a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Did somebody become the <strong>Guide<\/strong> of your self &amp; life? Who is defining your values &amp; goals? Is it really you? <br>Explore within yourself <strong>how sincere and honest<\/strong> you are with <strong>yourself<\/strong>. Examine <strong>how well you hear your own inner voice<\/strong>. Do you know who you are, who you want to be? Are you feeling insecure or <strong>unsafe<\/strong>? It\u00b4s totally ok. Just be aware of that. Do you dare to <strong>acknowledge uncertainty<\/strong> and <strong>affirm it<\/strong>? Are you ready to learn to listen to <strong>your own inner voice<\/strong>? And will you take seriously what you hear?<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ef64989 elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"ef64989\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">5. <b>Work<\/b> with the <b>5 prerequisites<\/b> for a healthy relationship within<\/h4>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-59988c2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"59988c2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Ask yourself each and every day: <em>&#8220;How can I feel &amp; express <u>more trust, respect, honesty\/openness, healthy boundaries, and self-commitment<\/u> towards myself today?&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-907e7a0 elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"907e7a0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">6. Consciously <b>Accept<\/b> &amp; welcome <b>contradictions<\/b><\/h4>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-87c2082 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"87c2082\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Start\u00a0within yourself. Accept what is inside of yourself, and assume a <u>positive purpose for all phenomena<\/u> that arise within you. <strong>Trust<\/strong> that this purpose will become clear one day. Normally a contradiction is just\u00a0<b>an initial step, an invitation for integration<\/b>. Thus, welcoming contradictions means walking the first step towards integration. Allow yourself to accept your own multi-dimensional expression within (without needing to understand everything), and &#8211; <strong>grant that same freedom to others!<\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-13b00a3 elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"13b00a3\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-53f670b\" data-id=\"53f670b\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1d0baeb elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"1d0baeb\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Hopefully this article served valuable insights and steps on <b>healing &amp; integration<\/b> on your path to a <b>healthy relationship within<\/b>. You may leave a comment, share this post or forward it to people who might benefit from it.<\/p>\n<p>May you feel whole, complete and accepted.<\/p>\n<p>Namast\u00e9,<br>Yours Kristina<\/p>\n<p>Photo by Crane 17 on Pixabay<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-a77844c elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"a77844c\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;,&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-c7658a0\" data-id=\"c7658a0\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8576c1c elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"8576c1c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Invitation<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9d4b03b elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"9d4b03b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p style=\"color: white;\">If you\u2019re considering being accompanied through the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/mirror-process-inner-universe\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><strong>mirror process of inner work<\/strong><\/span><\/a>, you can book a <a href=\"https:\/\/psysoulogy.youcanbook.me\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b><u>free preliminary talk in my booking calendar<\/u><\/b><\/a> at the top right of this page or below this entry.<\/p>\n\n<p style=\"color: white;\"><span style=\"color: white;\">The <\/span><span style=\"color: white; font-weight: bolder;\">model assumptions<\/span><span style=\"color: white;\"> are based on years of professional<\/span> <span style=\"color: white; font-weight: bolder;\">observation<\/span><span style=\"color: white;\">, personal<\/span> <span style=\"color: white; font-weight: bolder;\">experience<\/span><span style=\"color: white;\">, and knowledge from<\/span> <span style=\"color: white; font-weight: bolder;\">psychoanalysis, psychodynamics, and developmental psychology<\/span><span style=\"color: white;\">. For more information, please refer to the<\/span> <a style=\"text-decoration-line: underline; color: white;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/copyright\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: white; font-weight: bolder;\">Copyright<\/span><\/a><span style=\"color: white;\"> notice. The articles, including assumptions and hypotheses, may be<\/span> <span style=\"color: white; font-weight: bolder;\">shared freely<\/span><span style=\"color: white;\">, but please always provide<\/span> <span style=\"color: white; font-weight: bolder;\">attribution <\/span><span style=\"color: white;\">(my name and the website).<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Overview What is a toxic relationship? The term &#8220;toxic relationship&#8221; is widely used nowadays. We might feel that almost any relationship could be labeled as &#8220;toxic&#8221; or could contain &#8220;toxic elements.&#8221; And to some extent, that\u2019s true. Every relationship can include elements that are &#8220;unhealthy&#8221; or at least have the potential to become harmful. It&#8217;s [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":12442,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_glsr_average":0,"_glsr_ranking":0,"_glsr_reviews":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[857],"tags":[1134,1176,890,1137,1133,1138,971,1046,1127,1132,1129,1130,1128,1131,1028,961,991,1193,1136,1135,956,966],"class_list":["post-12773","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-toxic-relationships","tag-breaking-taboos","tag-connection-en","tag-consciousness","tag-embracing-vulnerability","tag-emotional-awareness","tag-emotional-growth","tag-healing-journey","tag-healthy-boundaries","tag-inner-healing","tag-inner-peace","tag-mindfulness-practices","tag-overcoming-shame","tag-personal-transformation","tag-relationship-with-self","tag-self-acceptance","tag-self-awareness","tag-self-compassion","tag-self-image","tag-self-judgment","tag-self-love-journey","tag-self-reflection","tag-toxic-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12773","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12773"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12773\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12442"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12773"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12773"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12773"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}