{"id":12758,"date":"2021-11-16T09:50:44","date_gmt":"2021-11-16T08:50:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/recognize-gaslighting-and-get-out-8-signs-book-preview\/"},"modified":"2024-11-03T14:18:05","modified_gmt":"2024-11-03T13:18:05","slug":"recognize-gaslighting-8-characteristics","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/recognize-gaslighting-8-characteristics\/","title":{"rendered":"Recognize &amp; Exit Gaslighting | 8 Characteristics (book preview)."},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"12758\" class=\"elementor elementor-12758 elementor-5015\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-11e1d933 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"11e1d933\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3dcb73de\" data-id=\"3dcb73de\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b11369f elementor-toc--minimized-on-tablet elementor-widget elementor-widget-table-of-contents\" data-id=\"b11369f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;headings_by_tags&quot;:[&quot;h3&quot;],&quot;exclude_headings_by_selector&quot;:[],&quot;no_headings_message&quot;:&quot;No headings were found on this page.&quot;,&quot;marker_view&quot;:&quot;numbers&quot;,&quot;minimize_box&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;minimized_on&quot;:&quot;tablet&quot;,&quot;hierarchical_view&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;min_height&quot;:{&quot;unit&quot;:&quot;px&quot;,&quot;size&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:[]},&quot;min_height_tablet&quot;:{&quot;unit&quot;:&quot;px&quot;,&quot;size&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:[]},&quot;min_height_mobile&quot;:{&quot;unit&quot;:&quot;px&quot;,&quot;size&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:[]}}\" data-widget_type=\"table-of-contents.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toc__header\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-toc__header-title\">\n\t\t\t\tOverview\t\t\t<\/h4>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toc__toggle-button elementor-toc__toggle-button--expand\" role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" aria-controls=\"elementor-toc__b11369f\" aria-expanded=\"true\" aria-label=\"Open table of contents\"><i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-chevron-down\"><\/i><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toc__toggle-button elementor-toc__toggle-button--collapse\" role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" aria-controls=\"elementor-toc__b11369f\" aria-expanded=\"true\" aria-label=\"Close table of contents\"><i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-chevron-up\"><\/i><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-toc__b11369f\" class=\"elementor-toc__body\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toc__spinner-container\">\n\t\t\t\t<i class=\"elementor-toc__spinner eicon-animation-spin eicon-loading\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/i>\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-fde140c elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"fde140c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><b>What is <\/b>Gaslighting?<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-616b54c9 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"616b54c9\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-family: Montserrat;\">The term <em>Gaslighting<\/em>, unlike most psychological concepts, did not originate from clinical observation but rather from a play by the British <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Gas_Light\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">author <em>Patrick Hamilton<\/em> (original title: <em>&#8220;Gas Light&#8221;<\/em>)<\/a>. <em>Ingrid Bergman<\/em> won an Oscar for her role in the Hollywood adaptation, <em>&#8220;Gas Light&#8221;<\/em>.<\/span><\/p><p>The male protagonist, Gregory (played by Charles Boyer), tries to steal his wife&#8217;s jewels. This <strong>self-serving goal<\/strong> shapes his entire approach, which is strategic and manipulative.<\/p><p>After courting Paula, he takes her on a romantic honeymoon. After their wedding, he convinces her to move into a house in London she inherited from her aunt. In there, the jewels are hidden\u2014though Paula is unaware of this.<\/p><p>Gregory&#8217;s strategy revolves around <strong>psychologically manipulating<\/strong> Paula&#8217;s perception until she believes she is losing her mind, eventually leading her to willingly seek hospitalization. His goal is to get her out of the house so he can search for the jewels undisturbed.<\/p><p>If we follow the original meaning of the term (as shown in the movie), then <strong><em>gaslighting<\/em><\/strong> would hardly occur in real life. While some individuals may use <strong><em>gaslighting<\/em><\/strong> to harm partners psychologically and take advantage of them materially, such cases are rare.<\/p><p>Few cases demonstrate a <u>clear<\/u>, self-serving intent as shown in the movie. Often, <u>suspicions<\/u> or <u>assumptions<\/u> are made about the intent. Still the <u>clear intention remains hidden<\/u>. This raises questions about how much projection is involved in assuming a specific intention. The evidence of intent in such cases is seldom as clear, which poses a problem.<\/p><p>The original understanding of <strong><em>gaslighting<\/em><\/strong> involves <strong><u>clear, manipulative behavior<\/u><\/strong> that entails <strong><u>psychological abuse<\/u><\/strong> and is <strong>deliberately<\/strong> used to achieve a specific, <strong>self-serving goal<\/strong>.<\/p><p>These situations do exist! Such relationships inflict severe suffering and anxiety, leaving individuals with a <strong>deep sense of shock<\/strong> and <strong>existential confusion<\/strong>. Such experiences can shatter one&#8217;s <strong>trust in humanity<\/strong> and the world itself. Long after such encounters, affected individuals may struggle with general <strong>distrust of others<\/strong>. Simple remarks, like a friend saying, <i>&#8220;You look sick today&#8230;&#8221;<\/i>, can immediately trigger suspicion, making them think of manipulation and causing them to withdraw. But there are also individuals affected by <strong><em>gaslighting<\/em><\/strong> who cannot detect <u>any<\/u> conscious intent or malice in the initiator (the sender). Such cases do also exist.<\/p><p>In <a style=\"background-color: #ffffff;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.exit-gaslighting.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">my book <em><strong>Exit Gaslighting<\/strong><\/em><\/a>, we explore a new, more accessible definition of <strong><em>gaslighting<\/em><\/strong>. This expanded understanding sheds light on the broader processes of <strong><em>gaslighting<\/em><\/strong>. Knowing <u>what truly happens<\/u> is essential for successfully exiting <strong><em>gaslighting<\/em><\/strong>. <br \/>Many people get <strong>caught up<\/strong> in <u>minor details<\/u>\u2014like seeing the situation from an ant&#8217;s perspective\u2014<u>losing contact with themselves<\/u> and failing to grasp what\u2019s happening from <u>an astronaut\u00b4s perspective<\/u>. <br \/>Thus, in the haze of confusion, they cannot find a way out of <strong><em>gaslighting<\/em><\/strong>. The book emphasizes the importance of <strong>seeing the bigger picture<\/strong>\u2014the &#8220;astronaut\u00b4s&#8221; perspective. Because here the way out of <strong><em>gaslighting<\/em><\/strong> becomes visible.<\/p><p>As long as you remain trapped within <strong><em>gaslighting<\/em><\/strong> confusion, you lack control over your life. Many people lose their joy in life while entangled in the <strong><em>gaslighting universe<\/em><\/strong>, stuck in cycles of tension and anxiety. <strong><em>Exit Gaslighting<\/em><\/strong> aims to help those affected reclaim their lives with intention and self-determination.<\/p><p><strong>The book is only available in german language until now. But if you are a bilingual translator (german-english), who can imagine royalty share for translation, <a href=\"mailto:evolve@psysoulogy.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><u>feel free to contact us here<\/u><\/a> including your references.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-de1c854 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"de1c854\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"800\" src=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/Buch_EXIT_Gaslighting-1024x1024.jpg\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-17229\" alt=\"gaslighting\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/Buch_EXIT_Gaslighting-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/Buch_EXIT_Gaslighting-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/Buch_EXIT_Gaslighting-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/Buch_EXIT_Gaslighting-768x768.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/Buch_EXIT_Gaslighting.jpg 1486w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-bc3ecf0 elementor-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-button\" data-id=\"bc3ecf0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"button.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-button-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-button elementor-button-link elementor-size-sm\" href=\"https:\/\/www.exit-gaslighting.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-content-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-text\">EXIT GASLIGHTING<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d1c25d8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"d1c25d8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">How do I <b>recognize<\/b> Gaslighting?<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3089319 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"3089319\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Those experiencing <strong><em>gaslighting<\/em><\/strong> can take steps to leave the destructive cycle of <strong>psychic manipulation of perception<\/strong>. The first step is <u>recognizing <strong><em>gaslighting<\/em><\/strong><\/u>. This article includes an excerpt from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.exit-gaslighting.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><strong>my book<\/strong><\/span><\/a><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><strong>,<\/strong><\/span> where we examine how a <b style=\"font-style: italic;\">sender <\/b>of gaslighting constructs and imposes an <strong>alternative reality<\/strong>. This alternative reality (AR) is not merely a set of beliefs but a <u>complex web of altered statements and information<\/u> that serve the sender&#8217;s interests. By identifying the <strong>characteristic indicators<\/strong> of this AR, we can clearly <u>identify <strong><em>gaslighting<\/em><\/strong><\/u>.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-196db46 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"196db46\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Eight <strong>indicators of<\/strong> an alternative reality (book excerpt)<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0df1709 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"0df1709\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>The following <b><u>eight characteristics<\/u><\/b> of an <b><u>alternative reality<\/u><\/b> should help you to recognize <strong><em>Gaslighting<\/em><\/strong> more clearly and step back from a so-called <b>alternative reality<\/b> of a sender.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>\n        <strong>Claim for absolute validity of a subjective opinion. Deviating perceptions are denied, labeled as not plausible, and thus, the right to have a different opinion is erased.<\/strong><br>        If a sender stubbornly and unyieldingly insists on <u>being right<\/u> in their portrayal of reality and does not allow space for your opinion, this indicator (and therefore <strong><em>Gaslighting<\/em><\/strong>) is very likely. If the sender also provides <u>reasons why their view is \u201cright\u201d<\/u> and <u>your different perception is \u201cwrong\u201d<\/u> (citing authors, scientists, etc.), while subtly or openly devaluing or ignoring it, you can be sure that an alternative reality (AR) is being imposed on you.<br>\n    <br><br><\/li>\n<li>\n        <strong>The sender elevates themselves into the role of judge over \u201cright and wrong,\u201d eliminating equality in the relationship.<\/strong><br>        In an AR, a sender assumes the <u>role of judge<\/u>. They behave as though it\u2019s <u>natural for them to judge<\/u> what is \u201cright\u201d or \u201cwrong,\u201d typically in an insidious manner. As the recipient unconsciously accepts these judgments, the <u>sender\u2019s power<\/u> over the relationship grows.<br>\n    <br><br><\/li>\n<li>\n        <strong>As a judge, the sender reshapes their <u>subjectively<\/u> distorted AR as <u>universal<\/u> facts while labeling contradictory <u>facts<\/u> as <u>subjective impressions<\/u>.<\/strong><br>        A <strong><u>confusion between facts and subjective perception<\/u><\/strong> occurs within the AR. After placing themselves as judge, the sender gradually rewrites reality to match their AR. The sender\u2019s <u>subjective perceptions<\/u> become <u>indisputable facts<\/u>, leading to a <strong>power imbalance<\/strong> that increasingly favors the sender. If a recipient perceives <u>facts<\/u>, such as a devaluation, the sender may label it as a <u>\u201csubjective\u201d distortion<\/u>. Senders often appear very credible, asserting \u201cwhat is fact\u201d with fervent conviction.<br>\n    <br><br><\/li>\n<li>\n        <strong>To invalidate facts or perceptions that contradict the AR, the sender confronts the recipient with <u>rules<\/u> or widely accepted <u>statements<\/u> (e.g., <i>\u201cperception is subjective\u201d<\/i>), while <u>exempting themselves from these rules<\/u>.<\/strong><br>        Senders often cite <u>rules<\/u> or <u>principles<\/u> that <u>apply only to the recipient, not to themselves<\/u>. Recognized statements by influential figures may also be cited out of context to reinforce the sender\u2019s point of view. These tactics are used to <u>invalidate the recipient\u2019s perception<\/u> and consolidate the sender\u2019s power and judgment.<br>\n    <br><br><\/li>\n<li>\n        <strong>In an AR, <u>details, causes, and interconnections are modified<\/u>. The sender selects elements of reality, then asserts alternative interconnections and motives, thereby creating an AR that may strongly overlap with the recipient\u2019s perception and reality.<\/strong><br>        Many people struggle to recognize <strong><em>Gaslighting<\/em><\/strong> because the AR often has convincing <u>overlaps with their own reality<\/u>. ARs seldom consist solely of minor assertions; rather, they involve <u>modified contexts, causes, and details<\/u> that suit the sender\u2019s advantage, turning the AR into a distressing distortion for the recipient.<br>\n    <br><br><\/li>\n<li>\n        <strong>The sender <u>\u201ccreates new facts\u201d<\/u> to solidify their AR, presenting mere assertions as facts and manipulating reality to appear as if it supports the AR.<\/strong><br>        Senders may selectively <u>highlight<\/u> elements of situations, <u>emphasizing<\/u> certain parts to push the recipient deeper into the AR. This may include <u>tangible manipulations<\/u>, like moving objects or setting up scenes, to make recipients question their own perception. The manipulation of reality reinforces doubts and confuses the recipient. Since there <u>seems to be a tangible proof for the AR<\/u> then, it\u00b4s damaging their confidence in their perception of reality.<br>\n    <br><br><\/li>\n<li>\n        <strong>The AR and the sender\u2019s behavior <u>keep the recipient busy<\/u> with confusion and suffering. Contradictions between the AR and their perception drive recipients into <u>overthinking<\/u>.<\/strong><br>        The indicators and micro-processes lead to <u>confusion, insecurity, and constant tension<\/u> for the recipient. Recipients often experience a <strong><i>\u201cmonologue of inner argumentation\u201d<\/i><\/strong> \u2014 <u>a harmful self-reflective process<\/u> where they become entangled in details of the AR, without ever reaching a clear understanding. This process fuels mood swings, as recipients <u>alternate<\/u> between <u>trusting their perception<\/u> (leading to anger) and <u>doubting it<\/u> (leading to fear and insecurity).<br>\n    <br><br><\/li>\n<li>\n        <strong>In the AR, sweeping condemnations occur. Recipients are <u>judged for their emotional states, characteristics, attitudes, or statements<\/u>.<\/strong><br>        Natural human characteristics are <u>labeled as bad or wrong<\/u> according to the sender\u2019s subjective values, which are treated as <u>objective standards<\/u>. Many recipients internalize these judgments, feeling ashamed for normal human traits. This leads to <strong>self-condemnation<\/strong>, where the recipient <u>adopts the sender\u2019s subjective judgment<\/u>. This process, I called <em><strong>Auto Gaslighting<\/strong><\/em>, occurs when recipients start <b><u>to gaslight themselves<\/u><\/b>, feeling guilt or shame based on the sender\u2019s <u>internalized judgments<\/u> rather than any objective wrongdoing.\n    <\/li>\n<\/ol>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-1cc1e10 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"1cc1e10\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-aca8070\" data-id=\"aca8070\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-80fe9cf elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"80fe9cf\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">What You Can Do: <b>Inner Work<\/b> for <b>Dealing with an Alternative Reality<\/b> (book excerpt)<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-bea5939 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"bea5939\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p style=\"font-family: Montserrat; color: black;\">Recipients of <em>Gaslighting<\/em> can actually take steps to <strong>leave this destructive psychological manipulation of their perception<\/strong>. The first step is to <b>recognize<\/b> Gaslighting. <br \/>The <u>eight indicators<\/u> can help you here. In addition to various self-coaching approaches presented in <a style=\"color: #003738;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.exit-gaslighting.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><u><b>Exit Gaslighting<\/b><\/u><\/a>, the following steps for <em>Inner Work<\/em> may support you in dealing with an <b>alternative reality<\/b>:<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-inner-section elementor-element elementor-element-1d601ba elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"1d601ba\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-inner-column elementor-element elementor-element-c78689f\" data-id=\"c78689f\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-bafe9e9 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"bafe9e9\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ol><li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><strong>Befriend your unlovable traits<\/strong>\u00a0(<a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Shadow_(psychology)\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><strong>shadow sides<\/strong><\/span><\/a>) &#8211; no matter how much you want to change. First <b><u>accept<\/u><\/b> them for what they are: A part of you.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><p>\u00a0<\/p><\/li><li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">There is no &#8220;right&#8221; or &#8220;wrong&#8221;. Always remember that <strong>you <u>don&#8217;t have to accept an external self-inaugurated judge<\/u><\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><p>\u00a0<\/p><\/li><li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Understand that an <strong>indictment of<\/strong> the AR is <strong>always done out of self-interest <\/strong>of a sender\u00a0(Don&#8217;t take it too personal!).<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><p>\u00a0<\/p><\/li><li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">You may reject or question any\u00a0<strong>judgment of<\/strong> a self-inaugurated judge at <strong>any time<\/strong>!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><p>\u00a0<\/p><\/li><li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">There is <strong>no need for<\/strong> a proof, nor for a <strong>justification or excuse of your qualities<\/strong> from anyone outside! You\u00b4re okay!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><p>\u00a0<\/p><\/li><li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Stop looking for causes and reasons <strong>exclusively within yourself when something feels incongruous<\/strong>. Switch to the macro level:<em> &#8220;How does this person talk to me? How is interaction taking place? Is there an eye-level?&#8221;<\/em> (see book).<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><p>\u00a0<\/p><\/li><li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Check, <\/span><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">whether self-reflection happens in a\u00a0<strong>balanced way<\/strong>. <strong>Does your counterpart also reflect him-\/herself?<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><p>\u00a0<\/p><\/li><li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Does your reflection lead to (self-)accusation? Do you experience guilt and shame? If so &#8211; <strong>Stop it! <\/strong>You\u00b4re on the wrong path here!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><p>\u00a0<\/p><\/li><li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Observe if and why you fell into the <strong>monologue of inner argumentation<\/strong> and <strong>switch to the macro level<\/strong> (see book)!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><p>\u00a0<\/p><\/li><li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><strong>Always question silent rules<\/strong> and check whether you consider them to be\u00a0<strong>true for you!<\/strong> Check, if <b><u>you<\/u><\/b> <strong>want to approve<\/strong> them as valid. No one else has the right to prove them valid for you. You always have a choice!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><p>\u00a0<\/p><\/li><li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">You are the only person who can free yourself (from judgments). <strong>Practice being generous and mild with yourself!<\/strong><\/span><\/span><p>\u00a0<\/p><\/li><\/ol>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-22127b5 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"22127b5\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p style=\"font-family: Montserrat; color: black;\"><b><i>Gaslighting<\/i><\/b> is one of the most insidious ways to unsettle people. It can appear in the context of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/causes-consequence-narcissis-narcissistic\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b><u>narcissistic<\/u><\/b><\/a> or emotionally unstable personality disorders, though it is <u>not<\/u> limited to these contexts. In fact, we encounter <b><i>Gaslighting<\/i><\/b> in many areas of everyday life\u2014personal relationships, media, politics, and social networks. <br \/>Increasingly, we are confronted with alternative realities, supposedly &#8220;incontrovertible truths.&#8221; We are encouraged to pay attention, act mindfully, and explore our <b><u>own truth<\/u><\/b>\u2014to trust our <b>perception<\/b> and <b>intuition<\/b> within. We are allowed to feel <b>centered<\/b> from within. This is a practice\u2014a constant work in progress.<\/p><p style=\"font-family: Montserrat; color: black;\">Staying calm in the face of external turmoil requires <u>self-commitment<\/u>. In this way, we can confidently feel at home in our <b>own perception of reality<\/b>. Especially sensitive and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/10-points-on-empaths-challenges-self-care\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b><u>empathic individuals<\/u><\/b><\/a> are called upon to repeatedly <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/15-keys-heal-empaths-empathic-narcissistic\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b><u>stay connected with their own perception of reality<\/u><\/b><\/a>.<\/p><p style=\"font-family: Montserrat; color: black;\">This is why the <a style=\"color: #003738;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.exit-gaslighting.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><u><b>book Exit Gaslighting<\/b><\/u><\/a> was written: to <b><u>re-empower<\/u><\/b> people and encourage them to feel, live, and express their unique truth. It is so essential that we all begin to live our <u>true selves<\/u>.<\/p><p style=\"font-family: Montserrat; color: black;\">I apologize that there is currently <u>no English version<\/u> of\u00a0 Exit Gaslighting. Any bilingual translator (german-english) may feel free <a href=\"mailto:evolve@psysoulogy.com\"><b><u>to contact us here<\/u><\/b><\/a> with references, if royalty share is an option.<\/p><p style=\"font-family: Montserrat; color: black;\">However, if you are interested in a coaching session with me, feel free to <a style=\"color: #003738;\" href=\"https:\/\/psysoulogy.youcanbook.me\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><u><b>book a preliminary talk<\/b><\/u><\/a> through my calendar.<\/p><p style=\"font-family: Montserrat; color: black;\">Namast\u00e9,<br \/>Yours, Kristina<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-e44ca65 elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"e44ca65\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;,&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-37f01d2\" data-id=\"37f01d2\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-16678b8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"16678b8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Invitation<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-40298cc elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"40298cc\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p style=\"color: white;\">If you\u2019re considering being accompanied through the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/mirror-process-inner-universe\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><strong>mirror process of inner work<\/strong><\/span><\/a>, you can book a <a href=\"https:\/\/psysoulogy.youcanbook.me\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b><u>free preliminary talk in my booking calendar<\/u><\/b><\/a> at the top right of this page or below this entry.<\/p>\n\n<p style=\"color: white;\"><span style=\"color: white;\">The <\/span><span style=\"color: white; font-weight: bolder;\">model assumptions<\/span><span style=\"color: white;\"> are based on years of professional<\/span> <span style=\"color: white; font-weight: bolder;\">observation<\/span><span style=\"color: white;\">, personal<\/span> <span style=\"color: white; font-weight: bolder;\">experience<\/span><span style=\"color: white;\">, and knowledge from<\/span> <span style=\"color: white; font-weight: bolder;\">psychoanalysis, psychodynamics, and developmental psychology<\/span><span style=\"color: white;\">. For more information, please refer to the<\/span> <a style=\"text-decoration-line: underline; color: white;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/copyright\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: white; font-weight: bolder;\">Copyright<\/span><\/a><span style=\"color: white;\"> notice. The articles, including assumptions and hypotheses, may be<\/span> <span style=\"color: white; font-weight: bolder;\">shared freely<\/span><span style=\"color: white;\">, but please always provide<\/span> <span style=\"color: white; font-weight: bolder;\">attribution <\/span><span style=\"color: white;\">(my name and the website).<\/span><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Overview What is Gaslighting? The term Gaslighting, unlike most psychological concepts, did not originate from clinical observation but rather from a play by the British author Patrick Hamilton (original title: &#8220;Gas Light&#8221;). Ingrid Bergman won an Oscar for her role in the Hollywood adaptation, &#8220;Gas Light&#8221;. The male protagonist, Gregory (played by Charles Boyer), tries [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":12443,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_theme","format":"standard","meta":{"_glsr_average":0,"_glsr_ranking":0,"_glsr_reviews":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[857],"tags":[1153,890,978,1165,1158,1161,992,904,1156,1157,1162,1164,1154,1163,1193,1155,1160],"class_list":["post-12758","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-toxic-relationships","tag-characteristics-of-gaslighting","tag-consciousness","tag-emotional-abuse","tag-empowerment-through-awareness","tag-gaslighting-and-self-protection","tag-gaslighting-awareness","tag-mental-health","tag-overcoming-co-narcissism","tag-overcoming-gaslighting","tag-psychological-abuse-awareness","tag-psychological-manipulation","tag-recognizing-abuse","tag-recognizing-gaslighting","tag-self-help-strategies","tag-self-image","tag-signs-of-psychological-manipulation","tag-understanding-gaslighting"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12758","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12758"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12758\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19146,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12758\/revisions\/19146"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12443"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12758"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12758"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.freieresleben.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12758"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}